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I try really hard on this blog to bring you thoughts and ideas that you might not have heard before. I try to speak not only from my personal experience in the foster care system, but from helping numerous clients through the criminal justice system and from listening to the stories of countless individuals who have chosen me to share their stories. I want to try and tackle the issues that are difficult to talk about; those that we try to box up and pretend aren't happening. After Foster Care Awareness Month, I wanted to share a point of view that I can't speak to - Adoption. So, it is my pleasure to bring you a guest blog from Anne Heffron, Author of You Don't Look Adopted . Anne was born in Manhattan in 1964 to a young college student who gave her up for adoption. Fifty-one years later Anne returned to Manhattan to find the roots of her story, the story that began with her birth instead of the story that began "The day we got you." This journey is the subject of her memoir "You Don't Look Adopted," an account of the perils and blessings of adoption. Before turning to memoir, Anne co-wrote the film "Phantom Halo" with her writing partner, Antonia Bogdanovich. "Phantom Halo" was first shown at the 2015 Austin Film Festival and won Best Picture at the 2015 New York International Film Festival. She and Antonia currently have a screenplay, "The Rabbit Will Die" in development. You can learn more about Anne and her work on her website . Love to hear your thoughts about her work, and suggestions for our guest bloggers. Shen DOES ADOPTION LEAVE A SCAR? Sandra Bullock has been in the news recently because of something she said about adoption during an interview for InStyleMagazine: Let’s all just refer to these kids as “our kids.” Don’t say “my adopted child.” No one calls their kid their “IVF child” or their “oh, shit, I went to a bar and got knocked-up child.” Let just say, “our children.”( http://www.instyle.com/news/sandra-bullock-june-cover ) My parents almost never said I was their adopted daughter. It would have made me feel like a paper doll stuck in a world of “real” people if, in a public setting, my parents had introduced me that way. However, to suggest that “adopted” should be dropped, as an adjective is a dangerous move because “adopted,” in my book, also means “special needs.” If you drop “adopted,” you drop “special needs,” and there is nothing more most adopted parents’ want that to think than they have a child of “their own,” one that is no different than one they might have created themselves. The child might want that, too. But it’s not true, and it denies the child’s experience, and that is like ignoring the fact that a child broke her leg while she was skiing and telling her that her leg is still straight and so she is fine. Sooner or later, she’s going to fall down. When a child loses her first mother, there are all sorts of things that happen to the brain and the body of both the child and mother. Part of developing as a human being is the continuation of the connection and relationship between the body/mind of the mother and the body/mind of the child. Sever that connection and you sever that natural way of being in the body. This damage needs to be addressed. In a perfect world, there would be health clinics for children who lost their mothers and the mothers who lost their children. The clinics would have neurologists on staff who understood the damage done to the brain and who would have protocols to help address and repair the damage. There would be foster care competent and adoption competent therapists on staff. There would be body workers who would know how to address trauma held in the musculature and nervous system of the body. There would be craniosacral workers on staff to help work with the Vagus nerve in order to calm the body and to have the internal organs feeding information to the brain that everything was okay, the body was safe. Do you hear how many people it would take to help bring these children and mothers to optimum health? It takes a village, but it takes a village to raise any child, so this isn’t really bad news: it’s just news. Adopted people and people raised in foster care need extra help. Yes, it’s true that trauma is the translation of an event, so it’s possible for a person to come through relinquishment and foster care and adoption unscathed, I imagine. Many adopted people claim they are fine without special treatment, but I have to argue that many of them say this because their parents told them it was true. I have yet to meet an adopted person not physically or mentally scarred by their experience (addiction issues, attachment issues, chronic physical ailments, etc., etc. etc.), and as someone who wrote a book about being adopted and as someone who co-leads healing retreats for adoptees and who hears from many, many adopted people as a result, I can tell you I know a lotof adopted people. In a Facebook post, Sandra Bullock wrote, I’m tired of hearing from everyone that he is not my child, that he is not my blood. That I am a so-called “Adoptive Mother…I am a Mother. I need no other label or prefix.I know I’ve adopted him and I am proud of it. He may not have my eyes, he may not have my smile, he may not have my skin tone, but he has all my heart. A mother is a person who raises, loves and provides for the child. It doesn’t matter if you share the same blood or not. Again, I understand the impulse behind her writing, but blood matters. If my parents say blood doesn’t matter, that’s implicitly asking me, their child, not to have curiosity about my roots. It’s denying the need for me to be curious about my roots because, if blood doesn’t matter, then roots don’t either. It’s asking me to be someone I’m not, and that means you adopted not a child, but a chunk of clay you want to sculpt in a way that feels most right to you. The beauty of adoption is that a child is given a home and love and the structure of family life. The tragedy of adoption is when people want to pretend the child’s life started the day he or she arrived in this new home, and if you erase the child’s past, you erase part of your child. And that’s a recipe for disaster.

No matter what type of organization you help run, if you are a leader, you should be promoting resilience and agility in the workplace. Why? When the individuals that make up an organization are better able to face challenges, the entire system is strengthened. Resilience mitigated risks, ensuring that challenges won’t set your business back as far they could. Organizations improve their overall resilience when they can: · anticipate disruptions · prepare for roadblocks · respond to sudden changes · adapt to new systems Resilience is essential if you want your business, systems, and teams to not just survive but prosper . But resilience in an organization requires both collaboration and trauma-informed strategies. It’s easier said than done. Luckily, I have 7 methods for promoting organizational resilience that you can start applying today. Take an inside-out approach. With trauma-informed work, it’s crucial that you, the leader, do the inner work before expecting to see the same growth in your employees. Trauma-informed leadership is always an inside-out job—which means you must start with yourself. Bear that in mind as you read through the next strategies for resilience! Encourage curious thinking. Questioning attitudes help us adapt quickly to new situations. Resist the mindset that things will always go according to plan—because they probably won’t. Curious thinking is the antithesis of rigid thinking, and it will help you approach unfamiliar problems with a fresh lens. This agility of the mind isn’t easy, especially when we consider how trauma may prime the brain for rigid thinking. However, actively promoting curiosity in the workplace is a great place to start. Establish a safe work environment where emotions are freely expressed. It’s a shame that there is a popular misconception that feelings are unprofessional. However, a business that ignores the reality of feelings is a workplace that promotes little to no resources to cope with difficult emotions (which we all experience). You can liken this situation to an employer that does not provide bathrooms to employees because they’d prefer to ignore the reality of someone’s bodily needs. Sure, you may still get the work done, but at what cost? Express your emotions openly and freely and encourage your employees to do the same. Vulnerability in the workplace opens up a safe space for team members to be themselves, and it can even foster better connections between employees. Communicate on every level. To promote resilience, you must open lines of communication across various situations. Relationship dynamics shift depending on who is in the room, so you must promote healthy relationships: · one-on-one with each of your employees · within teams or departments · between individuals across your organization Discuss both strengths and weaknesses. Too often, we take a lens of all-good or all-bad. Instead, focus on creating a balance in your organization. Normalize constructive criticism and acknowledge both virtues and flaws without judgment. When we can discuss weaknesses without shame or guilt, growth and resilience come naturally. Educate your team about basic trauma theory. When employees on all levels understand how trauma can impact the body and the mind, many behaviors start to make more sense. Trauma theory and training sessions create a deeper sense of understanding, enable an acknowledgment of one’s humanity, and promote compassion in the workplace. Implement trauma-informed systems. Many of these methods can be integrated into the workplace without the addition of new processes, but trauma-informed work can make faster progress when you establish new standard practices. So, adjust policies and procedures accordingly with these methods. Do you want more guidance on how to apply a trauma-informed approach to promote resilience and agility in your organization? Reach out to us to start the conversation.

Resilience is built in three core ways: positive and stable adult relationships, a strong connection to faith and cultural traditions, and the mastery of a life skill. When you incorporate these three components into your life, you will experience resilience. And as you build your own resilience, you enable yourself to be a trauma-informed leader who can build organizational resilience. Today, we’re discussing the first aspect of building resilience: positive and stable adult relationships. Why are positive stable adult relationships necessary for resilience? If you grew up in a well-adjusted and healthy family that met all (or most of) your needs, you likely experienced positive and stable relationships with your caregivers and already have resilience. But the difficult truth is that many of us experienced traumatic experiences as children. We learned that we couldn’t trust or rely on others. Then, in adulthood, we must re-learn and cultivate resilience through our adult relationships. Positive stable adult relationships are one of the three core building blocks of resilience, and here’s why. Resilience is our capacity to respond and adapt to change. When unexpected changes happen, we often feel uncomfortable, discontent, or distressed. To cope with these stresses, we need a strong support system—we need positive and stable adult relationships. What are positive stable adult relationships, and how can we cultivate them? You can experience a positive and stable adult relationship with: · peers · mentors · family members · colleagues · friends In positive and stable adult relationships, both people: · communicate their needs and boundaries · respect each other’s boundaries · validate, support, and comfort one another · resolve conflict in healthy and kind ways These actions contribute to an overall positive experience for both people. Although the relationship is likely not free of conflict, it is stable because both parties know that no conflict would impact or end the relationship beyond repair. In addition to the traditional relationships mentioned above. We also know that moments of time with individuals that validate and support us can also have significant impact. The science tells us, that even moments (less than a minute) can have profound healing properties. If you're not so sure, think about a time a perfect stranger paid you a compliment. How did you feel? Do you have positive and stable adult relationships at home or work? Do these aspects of relationships resonate with you? If so, you may already have some positive and stable adult relationships that you can identify. However, it’s normal for many adults to either lack positivity, stability, or both in their relationships. If you want to learn more about how to promote resilience through adult relationships in your life and for your organization, consider booking a coaching session with a Trauma-Informed Specialist today. And be sure to stay tuned for next week’s discussion on building resilience through your connection to faith and tradition!

In the past several weeks, we’ve explored what resilience is and how we can create resilience in our lives and organizations through positive, stable adult relationships and a greater connection to faith and cultural traditions. Today, we’re going to dive even deeper and explore how to build resilience through mastery of a life skill. How mastery of a life skill helps us cultivate resilience Whether your life skill is communication, carpentry, or commercial waste management, mastering your chosen skill will promote resilience. Why? Because the process of mastering a skill requires you to grow. When you master a life skill, you: · face and overcome challenges that stand in your way · problem-solve to discover what works best for you · repeatedly fail without giving up · develop self-confidence and self-trust To put it plainly, mastering a life skill requires resilience, and when you cultivate resilience through your chosen skill, you’re better able to use that resilience in other areas of your life. It turns out, that we can not simultaneously find ourselves in both survival brain and executive functioning at the same time. When we practice mastery, we rewire our brain to leave survival and go into executive functioning. The relationship between resilience and mastering a life skill The relationship between the mastery of a life skill and resilience is a close one. Both are processes of growth and development that have no finite completion—after all, the journey of a true master rarely ends . Your chosen skill can be anything. It may serve the work you do in your professional life, or it may exist primarily in your personal endeavors. Whatever it is, there is no “better” or “worse” skill to master. The art of mastering your chosen skill is what builds resilience. Mastery of life skills builds confidence. With each small action and incremental success, we teach ourselves that we are capable, we are strong, and we are skilled. As you progress, your self-confidence and self-trust grow. Then, when times are tough, that confidence and self-trust you built as you continued to master your life skill come forward, and you are enabled to be resilient. Mastery of a life skill implies failure and success. When you master a life skill, it becomes obvious that failure isn’t something to be afraid of. Every failure is an opportunity to succeed by choosing not to give up—and this mentality toward failure is necessary for resilience. You must overcome to master a skill. If you’re truly a master at something, then you certainly overcame challenges with quick thinking, problem solving, logic, and creativity. And you know what they say, practice makes perfect. Mastering a skill gives you opportunities to be resilient and overcome challenges. Do you want to cultivate greater resilience through trauma-informed leadership? It’s important to remember that resilience—like mastering a life skill—is a process that takes time. You won’t see results overnight, whether you’re working to improve your resilience or the resilience in your organization. However, you can guarantee greater resilience if you’re dedicated to walking the right path. If you want to explore how to improve your organization through trauma-informed leadership, connect with us .

We often think of trauma as something that’s happened to us in the past, but trauma can also impact how we think of the present and the future—and it can also be happening right now. As a leader (even a trauma-informed leader), you may be struggling due to trauma at work due to chronic stress. Check out this article by Arzhang Kamarei . In it, he explores Leadership Trauma, a new branch of chronic trauma that affects leaders. What makes leadership trauma unique? Leadership trauma is distinct from how we typically view trauma. Rather than experiencing crippling flashbacks, those who suffer from leadership trauma often struggle with flash-forwards . In these “glimpses” of the future, a leader often experiences extreme worry and panic surrounding their personal and professional life. They may often think of catastrophic failures or constantly worry about their inability to maintain a work-life balance. Many times, organizational leaders suffer from chronic stress due to: · financial difficulties within their organization · challenging situations in which there may not be a “right” solution · lack of clarity in decision-making · unethical behaviors or business practices · other situations that cause extreme fear or stress · excessive feelings of overwhelm or shame As an organizational leader, you might feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, and that burden could be weighing you down. Navigating leadership trauma and chronic stress Chronic trauma is often the result of repeated exposure to extremely stressful events—if that sounds familiar to you, your work life may be stressing you out too much. Interestingly enough, people who survive chronic trauma in their childhoods often make the best organizational leaders—because trauma survivors tend to experience resilience through Post-Traumatic Growth and cultivate an enormous sense of compassion and sensitivity. Addressing chronic stress through a trauma-informed lens If you liked this blog on chronic leadership stress, stay tuned for the next one, where I dive deeper into how you can overcome leadership trauma and cope with chronic stress at work.

Most people will say that work stresses them out—but it’s possible that your job as a leader is causing chronic traumatic stress. If you suffer from leadership trauma, these five trauma-informed strategies can help you move forward and cope with your stress. 1. Recognize harmful symptoms through mindfulness. First, you need to know if you have leadership trauma. You might think that everything is okay or that you’re experiencing a “normal” amount of stress. But you may be suffering more than you realize. If you have any of these symptoms, it’s time to take action for your own good—and the good of your organization: · intrusive or obsessive thinking · trouble sleeping · nightmares · unstable moods · intense irritability or rage · inability to relax or stay present 2. Address immediate traumas before past ones. When you start therapy or coaching, trauma-informed work often prods at the trauma of the past. But you can’t start working on your childhood traumas or relational issues until you deal with the chronic stressors in your life right now. So, make sure you focus on the most current trauma as you move forward. 3. Stop blaming yourself. When we experience severe trauma, we often gravitate towards self-blame, which easily morphs into self-loathing and low self-esteem. If you find yourself blaming yourself for the things you’ve done or things you’ve left undone, it’s time to make a change. Of course, this isn’t going to happen overnight. But the first step towards healing is to acknowledge what you want to change—then you can change it. 4. Talk to a therapist or counselor. No matter what level of self-awareness you possess, a professional can help you navigate healing from your current trauma, even as you’re experiencing it. If you’re already in therapy or you want to try something else, one on one coaching can help you experience personal growth and accountability in a healthy and non-judgmental way. 5. Conquer your fears. Most often, leadership trauma comes from experiencing intense fear and imagining horrible outcomes. You may find yourself afraid of the unknown future, shame, potential humiliation, or failure. To overcome these fears, you’ll need to do some heavy lifting to boost your confidence, your belief in yourself, and your sense of safety and security in life. If it doesn’t sound easy, it’s because it’s not. Trauma-informed work is, well, work. But it is important work that you are capable of doing. Have faith knowing that you’ll come out stronger than before. Living with chronic stress and unprocessed trauma is no walk in the park, and no one expects you to find overcoming trauma easy. If you’re struggling with burnout, leadership trauma, or chronic stress, remember that your health deserves to be a priority. And the work you do to move past your trauma will benefit you and your team. If you want to learn more about trauma-informed practices, check out our blog on Trauma-Informed Leadership . And if you’re still craving more information on trauma-informed practices, consider booking a free consultation with Chefalo Consulting today.

When we experience a traumatic event, shame and guilt are common survival skills we rely on. Like the flight, fight, freeze and appease response, these coping skills that are often meant for our survival, can leave us paralyzed. Logically, it’s easy to say, “of course, that wasn’t your fault.” But most survivors of trauma know just how hard it is to believe. Today we’ll explore a few questions relating to guilt and trauma, like “Why is it that survivors of traumatic experiences often turn to self-blame as a survival response?” And: “how can we employ non-judgmental compassion and courage to promote healing?” The source of shame: guilt as a survival response Although we often think of shame and guilt as a response to our own actions, most often, these emotions are triggered long before we’ve done anything wrong. In the collaborative online course between Dr. Gabor Maté and Dr. Richard Schwartz, Embracing All of You: Compassionate Inquiry Meets Internal Family Systems, Maté discusses how you can push a 9-month-old baby into a shame state simply by breaking eye contact. (See video below about the Still Face Experiment) He further explains how shame arises when someone important to you breaks contact, and you perceive that loss of contact as your fault. This loss of contact is the source of shame—not the fact that we’ve done something wrong. We merely perceive that we’ve done something wrong. When our brains perceive danger, our bodies respond. When we’re in “fight or flight” mode, our conscious minds are no longer in control. This is why self-blame, shame, and guilt are common after a traumatic experience, even when the victim is clearly not to blame. Overcoming shame through healing The good news is that trauma survivors can heal. Shame is an emotion that precedes negative actions. However, positive actions can work to eliminate feelings of guilt. Caring for others negates feelings of panic and shame because these two parts of the nervous system work inversely. When you take care of others, feelings of shame lift. If you’re someone who struggles with guilt, you might find a pattern arising in your life where you become self-sacrificial when caring for others. This extreme level of care for others requires self-neglect, which does not promote healing. So, balance is required. Accessing compassion for others in addition to self-compassion actively changes our physiology and allows healing to take place, physically and mentally. Conscious soothing and mindful coping It’s a common experience to look at coping mechanisms as either “healthy” or “unhealthy.” If you go for a run when you’re stressed, that’s a healthy coping skill. If you binge eat, smoke cigarettes, or go shopping, those are unhealthy coping skills. But there is a better measure for the usefulness of our coping mechanisms. Are they conscious or mindless? Consider the above scenario of caring for others. When you do it consciously, you can set boundaries. Mindlessly, you neglect your own needs. Dr. Mate urges people to “do it consciously and make it a choice” when self-soothing, whether that coping mechanism is smoking, eating or exercising. Why? Mindless soothing does not work. However, if you say to yourself, “I need to soothe myself, and here’s how I’m going to do it,” your coping strategies are more likely to work. Non-judgmental compassion and courage The road to healing from trauma is a long one, and while the path may sometimes fall under sunny skies, it’s also prone to storms. The best way to promote healing, especially when feelings of guilt and shame are involved due to trauma responses, is through non-judgment, compassion, and courage. When we’re able to adjust our attitude towards ourselves and the world by cultivating these values, we enable our bodies and minds to begin the healing process. To learn more about trauma-informed practices, read Chefalo Consulting’s blog or reach out to talk one-on-one with a trauma-informed specialist.

Although trauma-informed leadership is gaining traction in the education and healthcare sectors, it is not a topic reserved for these industries. In fact, private, public and government should all be considering moving a trauma-informed framework not just for their customers, or clients but for their staff. Additionally, trauma-informed leadership is meaningful and beneficial in nearly every sector, including law. Melissa Lucio’s Wrongful Conviction In her recent article , Michelle Charness explores the need for trauma-informed interrogation, particularly regarding the case of Melissa Lucio, who received a death sentence in Texas. Lucio claims that she was wrongfully convicted of capital murder, and her family, attorneys, and advocates, who include Kim Kardashian, John Oliver, Amanda Knox, and the general public, agree. Sentence to death in 2008 for the death of her 2-year-old daughter, Lucio was granted a stay of execution in April 2022. The stay does not remove Lucio from death row, and it is only a small step towards her exoneration. The Many Missteps in Lucio’s Case Several things went wrong during Lucio’s case back in 2008, leading to her wrongful conviction. An accident labeled as child abuse. Lucio was blamed for the murder of her infant daughter, and the court was led to believe that injuries sustained from a fall down the stairs were evidence of child abuse. Unheard evidence. Some evidence was suppressed in court, including the fact that Lucio’s daughter had a physical disability that made her prone to tripping. Traumatic and abusive interrogation. Hours after the death of her child, Lucio was yelled at, threatened, and repeatedly shown images of her dead daughter. While coping with shock, grief, and loss, she could not make eye contact and held a quiet demeanor. This lasted for hours, and officials did not offer a drink of water or a bathroom break. Instead, they coerced her into hitting a doll repeatedly while officials screamed at her to hit the doll harder. To end this experience, Lucio confessed to a crime to never committed. Bribery. The county’s district attorney at the time of Lucio’s conviction was sentenced to 13 years of prison for a bribery scheme shortly after Lucio’s sentence. He was found to side with the prosecution in exchange for money in cases like Lucio’s. Systemic abuse and a lack of trauma-informed care. It’s typical for victims to experience self-blame , and Lucio was a victim of physical and sexual violence herself. She was psychologically vulnerable, as many people who find themselves entrapped in the legal system are. Her interrogation was an incident of re-traumatization and abuse. And it’s not an exception. Why Our Justice System Needs Trauma-Informed Leaders I spent over two decades working as a Law Office Administrator for a General Practice Office. It was that work that ultimately led me to wanting to help organizations implement trauma-informed practices across systems and industries. It was the strength of our clients, that help me tell my personal trauma story, and set out on my current mission to transform systems as places for hope and healing instead of traumatization. Our justice system is in place to serve and protect our communities and our families, but when incidents happen, our communities and families suffer not only at the hands of the perpetrators—but also the justice system. Our legal system needs to be trauma informed. It needs trauma-informed leaders and practices to avoid situations like abusive interrogation tactics and wrongful convictions. Most often, we speak of trauma-informed leadership as a tool for improving your organization—as it most certainly is. But trauma-informed care is also necessary for certain industries—including the legal sector—if we want to protect our community and prioritize mental health. Not just in the case of wrongful convictions but using a trauma-informed approach in family courts, criminal court and civil courts would lead to addressing societal issues that often wind up in the legal system. For some, as we begin to approach this topic, they feel that addressing trauma in the courtroom lets the bad person “get away” with something. The truth is, a trauma-informed approach is not an either-or framework, but a yes and approach. In other words, you can hold someone accountable in a trauma-informed framework. You can be firm and compassionate at the same time.

In most circles, safety plans are discussed as a tool for suicide prevention. While they are certainly a great resource for people who may experience a crisis such as suicidal ideation, safety plans are a self-care tool that proves useful in less extreme situations as well. Whether you’re someone who would benefit from a personal safety plan or you’re interested in implementing an organizational safety plan for your workplace, this introduction to safety plans is a great place to start. What is a Safety Plan? A safety plan is exactly what it sounds like—a plan for safety. In certain situations, such as working with a patient with suicidal tendencies or addressing issues in a warehouse, physical safety is the focus. But having a sense of physical safety is not the only thing we need to feel safe. A safety plan can also address how to cope when someone is feeling unsafe socially and emotionally. In addition to physical safety, the trauma-informed model identifies five other key aspects of safety: · Psychological safety · Social safety · Moral safety · Racial safety · Cultural safety Especially in a workplace, school, or other institution, a sense of safety within the community is essential for healing. A sense of safety arises when a person is safe in each of these domains. Why Would You Need A Safety Plan? The purpose of a safety plan is twofold. Safety plans exist to prevent overwhelm, trauma brain, and unsafe situations. They also present coping strategies and solutions when we experience distress. Safety plans are often encouraged when dealing with severe depression, but safety plans can be useful for anyone. Each safety plan is tailored to your specific needs, personally or organizationally, so they can be a useful resource no matter what situation, demographic, or challenge you’re dealing with. While safety plans can be especially useful for those who experience diagnosed mental health conditions such as PTSD, depression, and anxiety, they can help anyone who struggles with emotional regulation and stress—which is almost everyone. A safety plan can be useful when you or your organization: · experiences burnout, excessive stress, and chronic work-related fatigue · struggles to navigate emotionally fueled conflict · finds it difficult to recover from anger, sadness, or disappointment · uses unhealthy coping skills to deal with negative emotions · must work through grief, loss, and other severe emotional pain How to Develop a Personal Safety Plan Developing a complete safety plan consists of six steps: 1. Notice the Signs and Triggers 2. Identify Coping Strategies 3. Seek Out Distractions 4. Talk to Supportive Friends and Family 5. Contact Professionals Who Can Help 6. Cultivate a Safe Environment Each step of the safety plan contributes to the overall goal of preventing and addressing emotions, behaviors, and events that lead to distress and crisis scenarios. 1 Notice the Signs and Triggers The first step of a safety plan aids us in self-awareness. When we are calm, we can identify triggers and signs that we are triggered so that the next time a situation arises, we can notice what is happening in our bodies and minds. These can be internal signals, like emotions and thoughts, or external triggers like a specific situation or behaviors. Examples: Crowded places, reoccurring negative thought patterns such as “I’m a failure,” feelings of overwhelm, nail-biting, excessive smoking or drinking, etc. 2 Identify Coping Strategies Next, we identify coping skills. These are things that you can do by yourself to take your mind off of the issue at hand, process it, or calm down from a heightened emotional state. Coping strategies can include relaxation techniques, physical activities, and mental practices. Assigning each trigger 3-5 coping strategies is important because not every coping skill will work every time. Think of these coping skills as tools in your kit. Sometimes, a tool may work perfectly, while other times, another tool will be better. If one tool fails you, then it doesn’t mean the tool is broken or useless—it just wasn’t the right one at that moment. Examples: A specific meditation, a body scan practice, going for a walk or run, rehearsing affirmations, identifying cognitive distortions, reality checking, journaling, etc. 3 Seek Out Distractions When coping on your own fails to help you emotionally regulate, it’s okay to seek out distractions. In fact, it’s the next step in our safety plans. Distractions can include people, places, and activities that will take your mind off of what’s going on. Keep in mind that while distractions are a useful coping strategy, making a habit of distraction can quickly turn into avoidance, which can be detrimental to your wellbeing. Examples: Calling a friend to catch up, going shopping, eating at a restaurant, practicing a hobby, playing with a pet, doing a puzzle, etc. 4 Talk to Supportive Friends and Family Another step in the safety plan involves finding people you can talk to about what’s happening. You may want to go to a trusted friend, family member, or partner. Talking to your pets can be therapeutic as well, even when you know they don’t understand what you’re saying. When going to a friend to vent or discuss your issues, you’ll find the conversation more supportive when: · you ask for their consent to talk about the issue before diving in · you are clear about what you need from them (solutions or listening) · you know that you can trust them and be vulnerable around them In your safety plan, identify a few people you can talk to. Examples: Calling a parent or mentor, talking to a close friend, video chatting with a sibling or partner, etc. 5 Contact Professionals Who Can Help There will be times when the supportive people in your life are either unavailable or don’t have the emotional energy to provide support at the exact time you’re seeking it. You may also feel that your issues will be better addressed by a professional, or the people in your life may not be the best at supporting you. There are plenty of professionals out there to assist you. Include contact information for professionals who can provide support during a crisis or distressing time in your safety plan. Examples: Texting your counselor or therapist, calling your coach, contacting your PCP, calling a lifeline, etc. 6 Cultivate a Safe Environment The last step of the safety plan focuses on preventing distress by creating an environment where you feel safe. Remember, there are various facets of safety, including physical, psychological, social, moral, racial, and cultural safety. Examples: Tidying up, putting out soft blankets, removing potential hazards, setting yourself up for success, providing easy access to food and water, not speaking to toxic people, etc. Final Thoughts: Safety Plans and Trauma-Informed Implementation Safety plans are essential to trauma-informed leadership and implementation because safety is key to establishing social-emotional wellbeing. I relate having a safety plan to caring for ourselves when we are triggered and before we find ourselves in Fight, Flight, Freeze or Appease we can put into place certain “safety” considerations so that we may stay in executive functioning. Once, the immediate threat has subsided, it is critical, that we go back and asses if the plan worked, and also to gain understanding about what it was that triggered us in the first place, so we might get to the root of the issue and/or enhance our safety around those issues. If you are interested in establishing your own personal safety plan, you may click here for a fillable one-page plan you can use when you're stressed, overwhelmed, or in crisis to identify your warning signs and map out what actually helps.

Full implementation of a trauma-informed approach typically takes three years to accomplish, but many organizations are looking for more manageable solutions that require fewer resources. If you want to implement trauma-informed practices but aren’t ready for full implementation, here are some of the most important aspects of trauma sensitivity training that you can share with your team. Developing a One-Page Resource for Trauma Sensitivity Training Recently a colleague asked for my input on their anti-bias DEI training program. They will have one page on trauma sensitivity in their training workbook and briefly mention it during the live training sessions. With such a limited amount of time and resources to share information about trauma sensitivity, they asked, “What are the most important things to include?” Keeping in mind that this training program was developed for the hospitality industry, where both employee and guest safety are the focus, I’ve boiled down the seven most important aspects of trauma sensitivity training. And now, I’m sharing them with you. 1 - Encourage open & honest communication In a professional setting, it’s common for people to keep their thoughts, beliefs, and feelings to themselves. But, this isn’t the best solution to move forward or promote a safe and healthy professional environment. Instead, we must work to create a culture that not only accepts—but also encourages and celebrates—open and honest communication. Confrontation is stressful by nature, and for those who have experienced trauma, confrontation can trigger a trauma response where the body decides it must be avoided since it signals danger. Other times, people might feel like their voice isn’t important or that they won’t be listened to if they speak up. So, we must take active steps to ensure employees and guests know that their voice matters. For teams who struggle to hold positive, safe, honest conversations (especially regarding issues and conflict), nonviolent communication, which focuses on active listening, can prove a useful strategy. 2 - Move from a hierarchical to a flat system Most structures we encounter are built on a hierarchical model, where people are organized into a pyramid structure with a few influential people on top and the majority of people with little to no power at the bottom. Although you shouldn’t do away with certain roles within your company—after all, leadership is not inherently bad—it is important to move towards a flat system, where every individual is valued on the same level. In practice, that means a receptionist should receive the same level of respect as the company's CEO. Employees who work directly with guests, like massage therapists or facilitators, should receive the same treatment as those who work in the background, like custodial workers. Unhealthy power dynamics are common in traumatic experiences, and trauma-sensitive workplaces should actively push for a flat system. 3 - Be intentional about safety Of course, every workplace wants to be safe—but how many of them have intentional conversations about safety? Trauma-sensitive organizations: · educate their team on the various types of safety · implement an organizational safety plan · encourage individuals to create personalized safety plans Being intentional about safety and actively seeking to avoid harm can go a long way. Teams also need to know what to do when someone is harmed. 4 - Create space for everyone This concept aligns with our previous ones of honest communication and a flat system, but it needs to be said. If your organization is not actively working to create space at your table for everyone , then not everyone feels welcome at your table. We exist and operate in a world where people who are different are often excluded. By accepting and celebrating diversity, you can make room for people who deserve to have their voices heard. You can create space for everyone by spreading awareness about, including representation of, and respecting different identities. Consider if your organization welcoming to people of different: · races · ethnicities · cultures · sexual orientations · abilities, mental and physical · socio-economic statuses · genders · ages 5 - Establish trauma-informed norms & values A trauma-sensitive organization embodies trauma-informed norms and values in its company culture. These values include SAMHSA’s 6 Guiding Principles and the Sanctuary 7 Commitments. SAMHSA’s 6 Guiding Principles Safety Trustworthiness & Transparency Peer Support Collaboration & Mutuality Empowerment, Voice & Change Cultural, Historical, & Gender Issues Sanctuary 7 Commitments Nonviolence Emotional Intelligence Social Learning Open Communication Social Responsibility Democracy Growth & Change You can learn more about these trauma-informed values in my Implementation Field Guide . 6 - Ritualize discussion with trauma-informed practices It’s painfully common for organizations to experience training, stick with what they learned for a few weeks or even months, and then fall back into old patterns. However, the goal of trauma sensitivity training is lasting change that improves the well-being of employees, clients, and the organization as a whole. To ensure a lasting impact, organizations much ritualize discussion with trauma-informed practices. That means continuing to use trauma-informed language, consistently learning new trauma-informed practices, and creating a discussion routine that leans heavily on trauma-informed values. By having a structure to follow, discussions can run smoothly and result in healing and solution-orientated mindsets. One such practice is All Hands Meetings, where the entire team meets to discuss incidents, find solutions, enact change, and plan for the future. 7 - Normalize talking about emotions professionally Finally—and this is a big one—trauma-sensitive organizations must normalize talking about emotions in a professional setting. How many of us are honest when greeted with the question, “How are you?” Usually, we reply the way we think we should and move on about the day. Why? Because we’re taught that it’s not okay to talk about our feelings at work. But whether we talk about them or not, our feelings impact our professional life. Discussing our emotions in a professional setting and in a professional way can eliminate the stigma behind them. We can learn and model that we don’t need to feel shameful because we feel lonely or frustrated or depressed. We can demonstrate it’s okay to seek support at work. Final Thoughts: Create a Trauma-Sensitive Organization These seven aspects of trauma sensitivity are some of the key components to creating a trauma-informed organization—but there’s much to learn. Do you want to implement a trauma-informed approach and become more sensitive to the needs of those you work with and serve? Reach out to book a free discovery call .

A safe and healthy workplace is the goal—but there is a concerning number of toxic workplaces out there. Is yours one of them? There’s a common dynamic where executive teams turn a blind eye to problems while those without power can see the glaring issues of a toxic workplace unfolding before their eyes. Today, we discuss nine common signs of a toxic workplace—and how to solve each issue with a trauma-informed approach. 1 High Turnover Rates Usually, when an employee leaves a job, it’s not because they hated the job they were assigned to do—it’s because they couldn’t stand the people they worked with or the management they worked under. If your workplace can’t seem to keep employees around, ask yourself why. There are likely some unaddressed problems causing major dissatisfaction at work. The Best Tool to Combat High Turnover: Healthy Communication Keeping employees around doesn’t need to be difficult. If a job pays a living wage and the people working that job feel safe at work, they’re likely to stick around for a while. But if you’re already struggling with high turnover, ask your employees what could change to make their lives easier. What can you do that would make them want to stay with your company for longer? And vice versa. If you’re not happy at work, consider communicating that in a healthy and respectful way to your employer. Opening lines of communication can go a long way toward increasing employee satisfaction and lowering turnover rates. 2 Fear of Retribution If you’ve ever wanted to leave a job because it was toxic, then you know that not every manager will be receptive to feedback—and this is another red flag of a toxic workplace. Many employees keep their thoughts and feedback to themselves because they fear retribution. If they’re honest about how they feel at work, they fear that they may lose their job, tarnish their reputation, or face other fallouts at work. The sad part is that these fears are not unfounded. The Best Tool to Combat Fear of Retaliation: Structural Change If you’re on a management team, the obvious solution is to not fire or punish employees who are honest about their dissatisfaction with certain aspects of your management style. As a trauma-informed coach, I always encourage organizations to take it a step further by moving their organizational structure from a hierarchal system to a flat system. Most organizational structures operate with the immense power imbalances of a hierarchal system. A flat system removes some or all of these power structures to create a safer, more level environment where employees and management feel safe and seen. Of course, certain roles still have distinct responsibilities. The key difference is how the power dynamics shift towards a more equitable system. 3 Gossip When workers feel unsafe communicating their dissatisfaction to management, they often bring their complaints to others who exist on the same level as them (especially when they operate within a rigid hierarchical power system). Since no one in the discussion feels as though they have the power to create lasting change regarding the issues at hand, what could be an environment of constructive feedback is seen instead as useless complaining and workplace gossip. However, imagine if someone with the power to create change was included in the conversation. Now, imagine if they implemented change after the conversation. Instead of gossip, we now have constructive dialog. By now, you can probably see how all these issues are coming full circle—and how the solutions are interconnected. The Best Tool to Combat Unaddressed Complaints: Ritualizing Discussions of Change Communication is essential in any relationship—especially professional ones. But in any relationship, communicating about conflict and negative experiences can be especially difficult. That’s why I encourage and coach organizations on ritualizing discussions of change. By creating a habit of opening up a safe space to address complaints, we can transform gossip into constructive change. And in that process, we also prove to our team members that their needs matter, that we value their ideas and that we appreciate their feedback. 4 Avoiding Reflection It’s common for organizations to always be pushing forward. In these environments, we’re constantly discussing the future: allocating tasks to be done, creating goals, reaching quotas, chugging along on the never-ending to-do list. However, if we become too future-focused, we forget to set aside time to reflect on the past. If your workplace never sits down to discuss and reflect, it could be a toxic environment. The Best Tools to Establish Retrospective Thinking: Focused 1-on-1 & Group Reflection Meetings If you want to create a healthy and safe working environment where retrospection contributes to positive change, set aside dedicated time to reflect. Reflection time can become a part of your regular 1-on-1 meetings, and you can establish monthly group meetings with the sole purpose of reflection. These retrospective moments give your team a dedicated time to celebrate wins, acknowledge everyone’s hard work, and highlight achievements. They also create a space where your team can look back and ask what could have been done better. This includes addressing conflict in a healthy way, speaking up about mistakes, and encouraging employees to ask for help in areas they’re struggling in. 5 Lack of Participation In a toxic workplace that discourages open and honest communication and operates on the basis of fear, disengagement is extremely common. If employees seem “checked out” or resistant to participation, it’s likely because their creativity is stifled or they don’t feel safe expressing their ideas. The Best Tool to Combat Reservation: Encouraging Self-Expression & Creating Safety If you want your employees and team members to share their creative ideas, contribute more to brainstorming sessions, or participate in discussions more often, you need to make it known that their voices will be not only heard, but they will also be acknowledged, appreciated, and respected. To encourage self-expression and create a safe environment for everyone to share, make sure there is room for everyone in a discussion. Listen actively, ask questions, and don’t dismiss any ideas without considering them first. 6 Lack of Diversity As social justice moves to the forefront of our collective social consciousness, many organizations are scrambling to establish DEI practices. However, many of these same agencies are still promoting toxic workplaces that fail to create diversity, equity, or inclusion. Why? We exist in a society that operates on oppression. And our definition of DEI is often limited. When we think of diversity, we want to include all people. That means actively creating space for people with different races, abilities, cultures, ethnicities, sexual orientations, socio-economic backgrounds, genders, ages, interests, skills, experiences, etc. The list goes on and on. The thing is, if you’re not actively making conscious decisions to be inclusive, you’re probably leaving someone out. So, what do you do? The Best Tools to Combat Uniformity: Curiosity, Intention, and Awareness Curiosity, intention, and awareness are your friends when it comes to DEI. Ask yourself questions. Be intentional with your words. And be aware that you, like everyone else, have blind spots. Almost all of us have certain privileges that make us ignorant of certain issues. Regardless of whether your privilege lies in your racial identity, physical ability, gender identity, or something else, there are certain things that you’re likely to miss. This is why diversity and representation in the workplace are important. From your end, you can be mindful, hold yourself and others accountable, and approach others with kindness and respect. 7 Lack of Mutual Trust When there is no trust in the workplace, a myriad of other issues follow. Without trust, a workplace is wrought with disrespect and dysfunction. Employees may notice a lack of commitment or unwillingness to assist others or ask for help themselves. A lack of trust also leads to a lack of vulnerability. Employees feel the need to conceal weaknesses and struggles rather than be honest about them, and there is an overall resistance to receiving or providing constructive feedback. And all this translates to a lack of growth—for both the company and the individuals who work there. The Best Tool to Combat Distrust: Establishing & Practicing Trauma-Informed Values If you want to promote trust, then implementing a trauma-informed approach is a great idea. One of the major trauma-informed values is trustworthiness & transparency, and a trauma-informed environment encourages open and honest communication and collaboration. In practice, this can look like not punishing employees for being honest about how they feel. Recently a colleague of mine recounted a story where they were told they should “be more positive” after responding honestly when asked how they were doing. Cultivating trust looks like normalizing having bad days—because we all have them. 8 Unclear or Unhealthy Boundaries & Responsibilities Not knowing who’s in charge of what is more common than you might think in organizations. It’s more common for people to say, “I don’t have the power to do that,” than to ask, “Who does have the power to make that decision?” It’s also painfully common for boundaries to be crossed and responsibilities to be piled on in professional settings. However, all of these aspects of a workplace can turn toxic. The Best Tool to Set & Respect Healthy Boundaries: Creating a Culture of Healthy Relationships Clarifying responsibilities and boundaries can create healthy change in your organization, and it can lay the foundation for establishing healthy relationships at work. In healthy relationships, we set and respect boundaries. We know where we stand with each other, and we know that we are safe. At work, this can look like acknowledging when your workload is too high and taking action by asking for help or saying “no” to a request. 9 Lack of Safety Finally, a toxic workplace lacks safety. And safety is perhaps the single most important aspect of a healthy workplace. When we are safe at work, we can do our best. And when we talk about safety, we must include various facets of safety, including: · physical safety · racial/cultural safety · psychological safety · emotional safety · financial safety · social safety · moral safety That’s a lot of different types of safety. And a workplace must meet each aspect of safety to be considered safe. More on that here . The Best Tool to Combat an Unsafe Workplace: An Organizational Safety Plan An organizational safety plan is the best tool for creating safety at work. It addresses many of the issues discussed in this article and lays out an action plan for employees whenever an unsafe situation arises. Learn about how to create one here . These safety plans can help your organization navigate instances of racial injustice, workplace harassment, or anything else your organization may struggle with. If you want to learn more about some of the solutions to a toxic workplace presented in this article, read this article about key aspects of trauma sensitivity training. Have you ever experienced any of these signs of a toxic workplace? Tell us your story in the comments below, and we can discuss trauma-informed solutions.

Most people acknowledge the close link between childhood trauma and social-emotional problems later in life. Studies have also shown that adverse childhood experiences contribute to a person’s risk of chronic illness—and the correlation between ACEs and various other issues is astonishing. In this article, you’ll learn: What are ACEs? How to determine an “ACE score” The correlation between ACEs and various problems Why learning about ACEs is important What are ACEs? The acronym ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. By breaking down childhood trauma into sets of experiences, we can measure trauma and assess risk. This method is especially helpful in clinical settings where research studies can be replicated. Some of the most common ACEs are: physical abuse verbal abuse sexual abuse physical neglect emotional neglect a parent is an alcoholic a parent is a victim of domestic violence a family member is in jail a family member has a mental illness parents getting divorced How do we measure ACEs? You can assess your own ACE score by adding up the number of adverse childhood experiences you’ve had before age 18. The ten ACEs listed above are not the only possible ACEs. Any type of lasting toxic stress can be considered an ACE, including: racism bullying witnessing a sibling or caregiver being abused losing a caregiver, loved one, or friend homelessness recovering from a severe accident or illness being in the foster care system being in the juvenile justice system So, if you had an alcoholic parent who failed to support you emotionally, you would have an ACE score of 2. If that parent were also a victim of domestic violence and often verbally abused you, your ACE score would be 4. The Impact of ACEs Measuring ACEs helps us study them. In 1995, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention teamed up with Kaiser Permanente to begin one of the largest investigations into the impact of childhood trauma through the CDC-Kaiser ACE Study . This study is ongoing; however, several significant findings were published in 1998. Over 70 other studies followed between 1998 and 2015. Through this research, we learned that childhood trauma is common across all socio-economic categories. Previously, people assumed that trauma didn’t impact middle or upper-class white people. Most of the 17,000 participants in the CDC-Kaiser Permanente study were employed, white, middle-class citizens from San Diego—which disproved theories that trauma only affected lower-class, minority groups. However, it is important to note that certain minority groups, such as POCs and LGBT+ youth, are at a higher risk. We also learned that there is a direct link between childhood trauma and chronic disease, and individuals with a higher ACE score experienced increased risks of physical, social, and emotional problems. Most individuals who experienced childhood trauma at all tended to experience various types of trauma. Of the 10,000+ individuals who reported ACEs, 87% reported more than one. As the number of ACEs increases, individuals are at higher risk of: adult alcoholism & smoking chronic depression & prescription antidepressant use other mental health diagnoses perpetrating domestic violence becoming a victim of domestic violence liver disease attempting suicide teen pregnancy absenteeism & impaired performance at work chronic obstructive pulmonary disease How does childhood trauma impact physical health? When children experience trauma, it alters how their brains function. Since young brains are still developing, trauma can create permanent changes that determine how they respond to future stress. Imagine a child overloaded with toxic stress from their life at home. They’re in a near-constant state of fight, flight, or freeze. They struggle to learn in school, develop healthy friendships, or cope with stress. Then, they discover quick-fix solutions that temporarily relieve their pain, anxiety, guilt, or shame: alcohol, nicotine, marijuana, methamphetamines, sex, overachievement, or high-risk activities. After falling into a pattern of substance abuse or self-harm, their physical body suffers the consequences—like liver and lung problems. On top of these unhealthy coping skills, research suggests that chronic stress contributes to inflammation, which can lead to disease. And epigenetics shows us that trauma can be passed down through generations. Trauma has lasting effects that can’t be ignored, although these effects can be difficult to see in the people we interact with every day. This is why it’s essential to implement a trauma-informed approach to life, especially if you are someone who’s experienced trauma or if you work in the public health or education sectors. ACEs Are a Major Public Health Concern Adverse Childhood Experiences are pervasive and damaging. The CDC estimates that a 10% reduction of ACEs in North America would save $56 billion annually . The good news is that our minds are flexible, and with awareness and intention, we can unlearn many of the habits we created to cope with our trauma. ACEs are predictive but not prescriptive. Human beings can be—and are—resilient. For more on the effects of trauma, read Trauma Brain Explained: The Neuroscience of Trauma and watch our on-demand webinar Neuroscience of Trauma for Busy Leaders .