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Download this newsletter as a printable PDF: Monthly Reflections July brought challenges for many as we collectively processed the trauma of the overturning of Roe v. Wade at the end of June and shortly after celebrated American "independence" on the 4th of July amidst the looming recession marked by high gas prices and bad interest rates. Now more than ever, having personal and individual safety plans is essential, and we created ours this month, outlining our crisis plans and our daily self-care maintenance. Looking Ahead Armed with our care plans, we're pushing ahead into August, choosing to survive and thrive as we build resilience and learn how to implement trauma-informed care in our everyday lives. In this issue, we process our trauma, discuss self-care, and provide access to additional resources. The Overturning of Roe v Wade: What To Do Now Roe v. Wade set a precedent for women's rights, and the overturning of this supreme court case means that many people with uteruses have lost some of their rights, particularly low-income people in the southern and midwest United States. While about half of the states will preserve the right to abortion, the dominos continue to fall in other states where sexist and anti-trans legislation continues to be pushed into law. Amidst the scramble, we suffer the consequences of this trauma. And many of us are asking, "What power do we have?" In these moments, we must remember that we do have power. We can utilize our voting power, practice micro-resistance, assure our safety, assist others, educate ourselves, and donate funds to provide safe abortion access. This decision was traumatic for many. Remember that you are not alone in this. Empower Yourself: Your Body, Your Choice You deserve love. You deserve respect. You deserve free will. And you definitely deserve bodily autonomy. In the current state of American politics with corrupt governmental leaders, it's normal to feel powerless. And it's okay to not feel okay about what's going on. Your emotions are valid. But you are not powerless. While the world may say that you don't have the right to make decisions about your body or your life, you do. You have the power to create real change in the world around you. You're creating change right now by being here and learning about trauma-informed care. Whatever your goal is, you can achieve it because you are strong. Why is Self-Care Problematic? Self-Care is Essential Caring for yourself can take many forms, and we all do self-care without thinking about it. Maybe you prepared and enjoyed a meal with a friend, or maybe you took a shower today or brushed your teeth. These are acts of self-care. Without self-care, we fall into a depressive state. Getting out of bed, practicing good hygiene, eating regular meals, exercising: without self-care, we don't complete any of these essential tasks of living. Practicing self-care develops self-love, -trust, -acceptance, and -compassion. Caring for yourself and growing develops confidence, resilience, and social-emotional wellbeing. So, I love self-care. But, I also hate the word "self-care." Why? Because it's been monetized and transformed into something else. It's common for people to confuse self-care with leisure because that's how self-care is marketed to us. It's common for us to think that self-care is the same as toxic positivity or that we should only practice self-care to be more productive at work. The Difference Between Self-Care and Leisure If we agree that self-care cultivates self-love, then self-care is synonymous with growth and development. We all can improve our relationship with ourselves. As a form of personal development, self-care doesn't always feel great. It can be challenging, and it can bring up emotions from the past as we face our issues instead of running from them. Have you ever taken a vacation, come home, and felt drained? Sure, it was nice to visit someplace new, but traveling was stressful, and your work piled up while you were gone. Leisure can create stress. The Purpose of Self-Care Self-care reduces stress. The purpose of self-care is to strike a balance in life between acknowledging and processing our negative emotions and shifting our perspective towards positive thought patterns. Through self-care, we manage stress, celebrate our achievements, and improve our overall wellbeing. Self-Care is Awareness, Love, and Compassion We need to shift our language of self-care away from escapism and toward positive change. The purpose of self-care is to help you better cope with stressors in order to preserve your time and energy for what matters most to you in life. Self-care is taking the time to look inward and ask yourself, "What needs to change?" Imagine that you struggle with road rage. Sitting in traffic, you become easily irritated. You could accept it and say, "I'm just an angry driver." Or, you could take time to reflect. Through self-care, you learn how to remain calm, creating a safer environment on the road and eliminating a major source of stress. This is self-care. Trauma-Informed Spotlight: Sandra Bloom Dr. Sandra L. Bloom is a Board-Certified psychiatrist, Temple University School of Medicine graduate, associate professor at the Dornsife School of Public Health at Drexel University, and founder of Creating Presence. She has been researching and publishing papers on trauma since the 90s, and her large body of work creates much of the foundation for trauma-informed systems and implementation. Dr. Bloom developed the Sanctuary Framework, which includes the SELF-model for trauma recovery, which we use in our implementation methods at Chefalo Consulting. Her book, "Creating Sanctuary," is a must-read for trauma-informed professionals, and her many works provide plenty of reading for curious leaders. The magnitude of young people's exposure to overwhelming stress is so great and such a threat to national well-being that the issue must be addressed as a major public health concern. -Sandra Bloom Final Words Thank you for reading our first ever Trauma-Informed Newsletter! Trauma-Informed Resources July was an exciting month for Chefalo Consulting! We released multiple resources for the trauma-informed care community, including two downloadable packets, which are available online in our store: Implementation Field Guide My Self-Care & Safety Plan Burnout Check-in You can also read more about trauma-informed leadership and implementation on our online blog. In July, we discussed: How to Create an Organizational Safety Plan The 7 Most Important Aspects of Trauma-Sensitivity Training 9 Signs of a Toxic Workplace (And How to Fix It) ACEs: Everything You Need to Know About Adverse Childhood Experiences

Creating lasting change is no small task. Still, it’s frustrating when most organizations fail to create the sort of lasting change that is the hallmark of effective social justice and DEI work—and the reason why is complex. If we were to boil it down to the simplest answer possible, it would be that organizations hyper-fixate on the technical while leaving the cultural unaddressed. What does that mean, exactly? Let’s use a relevant example to unravel this phenomenon. One of my clients works with a large organization, and that company recently found itself in a problematic situation. Why Technical Solutions Fail Without Cultural Change Usually, Governors will order their states to lower all the US flags to half-staff after an injustice or tragedy. It shows that we are in mourning or distress, and it is a sign of respect. This was the case after George Floyd was murdered on May 25, 2020. His death sparked a widespread awareness of and push back against police brutality and racial violence. Although the Black Lives Matter movement was officially founded in 2013 and the human rights movement long before then, 2020 became a year when organizations could no longer ignore the glaring racial injustices in America. Well, this particular organization did not lower its flag as a response to Floyd’s murder, and many members of their community responded as you might expect. There was distrust, confusion, irritation, frustration, and outrage. Why would a major organization that claims to stand behind BLM not lower its flag? In this case, the answer was a simple technical error. No one decided they weren’t going to lower the flag. It was a detail that slipped through the cracks. So, they created technical solutions to avoid this problem in the future. They created a collection of forms, put in place new systems for flag-lowering, and clearly outlined who was responsible for this task. Although this was a technical error, there were cultural implications. And their technical solutions didn’t solve their new problem: growing distrust in their community, which now saw leadership on the wrong side of history. A trauma-informed approach includes the technical, but the more important area of change is the cultural. Cultural Change in Practice The technical solutions didn't solve the problem. So, what would a cultural solution have looked like? A trauma-informed coach would encourage leadership to release an authentic statement to their community. This public document would: admit to making a specific mistake acknowledge the hurt they caused through that mistake apologize for the damage done reassure the community of their values reassert their stance on social justice issues and community needs remind their community of their goal of creating safety at work (if they have one) Although it seems like a simple solution, it’s difficult for many leaders to admit to their mistakes, acknowledge the damage done, and mend relationships. I’d be lying if I said it was easy for individuals to accomplish this same task in their interpersonal lives (and while that struggle arises from trauma responses—it can also cause trauma responses in others). Having these conversations is a small part of what it takes to create a safe space. Safe spaces are not devoid of mistakes and pain. But those who create safe spaces are quick to remedy these mistakes, make amends, and move forward. Here's a sample of what that apology letter might look like. Although this message implies other avenues of trauma-informed implementation (like providing resources and holding All Hands Meetings), the apology letter itself isn’t even half of the solution. Trauma-informed solutions that create cultural change require much more than a single letter. That message is one small part of a larger atmosphere of open communication, accountability, honesty, and trust—which are notoriously difficult to build. So, what other cultural solutions can we implement for this organization? Here is where the interconnected and layered trauma-informed approach comes in. Our goal would be to create a culture of trust and safety in the organization. Thought Project: The Same Mistake with a Different Company Culture Imagine for a moment that we’ve already accomplished this goal. The same mistake is made. The flag is not lowered when it should be due to a minor technical error. Instead of bringing out the already present distrust and resentment that many employees at this organization have, the employees feel safe and valued at work. When they see the mistake, they don’t see it as yet another example of how racist and unjust the company is. Instead, they think it’s possible someone was too busy to do all the parts of their job. They give the leaders the benefit of the doubt. Since it’s a simple enough task, they lower the flag themselves. In this scenario, this employee is also empowered. They know that they will not face repercussions for this action. So, the flag is lowered, albeit late. The mistake doesn’t further damage the relationship between community leaders and community members. The question remains, how do we get there? The Avenues of Cultural Change Organizations are made of people, so it follows that change beings with people. So, when we discuss cultural changes, particularly within organizations, it’s essential that the people within that organization are on board. That first step is critical. There are many people who don’t experience injustice based on their identity. Privilege can be blinding, and if leadership sees no value in cultural change (maybe they fail to see how a flag could hurt members of their community), then they’re unlikely to be a core player in the cultural change—which makes it nearly impossible. So, the baby steps towards trauma-informed implementation are communication and education. Holding conversations with people who are impacted by these things can change your view of them. It’s okay to not completely understand, and it can even be okay to respectfully disagree on matters of opinion. But you can’t argue with a person who says, “When you failed to lower the flag after Floyd’s murder, I felt unsafe at work.” There’s no matter of opinion here. It’s a fact that a mistake led to an unsafe workplace. Dialogue is one key aspect of trauma-informed implementation because it is an essential catalyst for cultural change. Conversations with others increase our awareness, and together we can develop greater empathy, compassion, and kindness. While this sounds great on paper, living these values can mean making lifestyle changes that are difficult. Let’s talk about a few more examples of how to create cultural change at work. Growth Mindset There are two main types of mindsets: a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. Most, if not all, people tend to oscillate between the two. When we’re in a growth mindset state, we are open to challenges, resilient in the face of failure, open to new and unfamiliar experiences, and accepting of feedback. When we’re in a fixed mindset state, we use black and white thinking and are prone to taking criticism as a personal attack. We prefer to stick to what we know and give up easily. When we’re operating with trauma brain, we become stuck in a fixed mindset. So, the toxic workplace environment becomes a negative feedback look. Trauma brain prevents real change. Without real change, we’re retraumatizing others. Self-Awareness Self-awareness is not a skill that we either have or don’t have—it’s a skill that we cultivate and grow. In some moments, we may be extremely self-aware, while in others, we may fail to see ourselves with clarity. Self-awareness is the act of observing the self. Through self-awareness, you can see where your values and behaviors align or don’t align. Once you can identify your beliefs, behaviors, and thought patterns, you can answer questions like: How are we practicing trauma-informed values? How do the concepts we talk about become embedded and embodied into our work? Curiosity Curiosity helps us think of other creative questions to ask ourselves. Through curiosity, we can explore the answers to questions like: Why do we do things the way we do? Why do we believe what we believe? Curiosity also aids us in keeping a growth mindset. Instead of assuming we know the answers, staying curious allows us to see the bigger picture. Personal Development Self-development is an essential piece of trauma-informed leadership. Although we like to think that “work” and “life” can be separated, work is a part of our lives. So, our personal development plays a huge role in how we implement trauma-informed practices at work. Trauma-informed implementation isn’t simple or direct. It requires us to embed the values into our everyday lives. By making a concerted effort to practice and live these values in our personal lives, we make trauma-informed leadership a part of who we are. Through personal development, we accomplish lasting cultural change. Accountability Cultural change cannot happen without accountability. The sample letter we discussed earlier was an act of accountability, but the letter itself matters less than the attitudes of those responsible. Accountability is saying, “I made a mistake, and I’m sorry.” It’s taking responsibility and carrying the acknowledgment of that responsibility with you. This is no easy task, especially if you’re operating with trauma brain or a fixed mindset. For those with trauma, holding themselves accountable can feel dangerous. If you have a fixed mindset, and you say, “I made a mistake,” it’s incredibly difficult to also believe, “I’m not a bad person.” So, accountability and self-preservation become at odds with one another. We run into the same negative cycle again, which is why safety is central to cultural change. Safety makes accountability possible. Shared Values If you want to create lasting cultural change at work, the members of your organization must agree on their shared values. Trauma-informed organizations should follow SAMHSA’s 6 Guiding Principles and the Sanctuary 7 Commitments, although they may tweak these models and create their own value systems. Empowerment Empowerment is another critical piece of cultural change. It’s important that members of your organization—especially those who have historically had their voices silenced—feel empowered to create change. Employees will feel empowered when there is evidence that they are capable of creating positive change. That capability comes partially from believing in themselves and partially from believing in their organization’s willingness to change. Empowered employees: are aware of and can set clearly defined boundaries and expectations have access to the resources they require know their input will be seriously considered have the freedom to complete projects their way Concrete Tasks to Accomplish Cultural Change You might be thinking that these ideas all sound great, but how can we actually accomplish this? What concrete tasks can I do to implement trauma-informed practices and embody these values within my organization? Now you see why many leaders choose to focus on the technical. It’s easier. But it’s also ineffective. Here are some concrete examples of what trauma-informed implementation looks like: All Hands Meetings Weekly or monthly meetings to check in about values, relationships, and communication Journal prompts for self-awareness Funded support groups for minorities Diverse leadership Clear communication Clearly defined roles and abilities An accessible, public organizational safety plan Resources for minorities and trauma-survivors Clear procedures in place for incidents Leaders modeling behaviors and values (trust, respect, accountability, etc.) Remember, the key concepts do not lie in these concrete examples. To achieve cultural change, you must focus on the larger value systems of your organization. The Big Picture: Cultural Change and Trauma-Informed Practices Cultural change is a large project to take on, especially when you’re doing it at an organizational or a national level. It’s even a challenge when your goal is to create change within yourself . However, it’s not impossible. When you keep in mind that the changes you must make have more to do with the cultural than the technical, the pieces start falling into place. Remember, the technical pieces are important, but shifting the culture has a much greater lasting impact. If you want to learn how to embody trauma-informed values, be sure to stay tuned for the next blogs in our series on trauma-informed implementation. If you’re ready to create lasting change in your organization now, book a free consultation to learn about your options from a trauma-informed specialist. And don’t forget to download our Implementation Field Guide , a resource that takes a deep dive into trauma-informed key concepts and practices.

There is a common trend in organizations: leaders acknowledge that change is needed. They see the value in DEI work, and they genuinely want to embody equity, dignity, and social justice. But nothing changes. If leaders value change, why do organizations still struggle to achieve equitable treatment, anti-racist working environments, and real safety at work? One reason is that many change efforts focus on external fixes without creating internal shifts. Leaders want different outcomes, but they skip an essential step: changing the assumptions that shape their decisions, reactions, and relationships. Another reason is that organizations do not create a plan for shifting the paradigms that quietly run the system. A quick definition: What is a paradigm shift? A paradigm is a working model. It is the typical and assumed way people think and operate in a system. Paradigms include thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors. They shape what people believe is “right,” what gets rewarded, what gets punished, and what becomes normal. A paradigm shift is a change in how we understand a problem and what we believe must be true to solve it. In workplace culture, paradigm shifts are the difference between surface-level efforts (policies, posters, one-time trainings) and sustainable change (new norms, consistent leadership behaviors, and clear accountability). The challenge is that many paradigms are unspoken. There is no document titled “Here is what we collectively believe.” That makes them hard to name, hard to change, and easy to reinforce without realizing it. Many of the paradigms in the American workforce actively work against safety, equity, and well-being. They can remain hidden even to the people who hold them. That is why trauma-informed leadership includes dismantling paradigms that create harm and replacing them with belief systems that serve everyone. What makes a workplace feel “toxic”? A workplace is often experienced as toxic when people feel consistently unsafe, unseen, or powerless. That can show up through patterns like: communication that relies on fear, shame, or blame conflict that escalates, or conflict that is avoided until it explodes unclear expectations and inconsistent accountability values that are stated but not practiced high workload with low control, low support, and little repair The goal is not to label people as toxic. The goal is to identify the patterns that keep the system stuck and shift them. When these patterns become normal, the organization’s paradigm quietly reinforces harm, even when leaders have good intentions. How to initiate a paradigm shift Because paradigms are collective beliefs, paradigm shifts require both individual and system change. This is where organizations often get stuck. Leaders oversee decisions, set the tone, and reinforce norms through what they tolerate or repair. Without leadership involvement, shifting a paradigm becomes significantly harder. The simple, not-so-simple answer is trauma-informed implementation. Sustainable culture change requires practice, reinforcement, and repair over time. That is why trauma-informed implementation typically takes multiple years, not a single initiative. For the rest of this article, assume the organization is ready. Leaders agree that change is needed. People are resourced. The question becomes: what paradigms are we seeking to change? One of the most practical paradigm shifts we teach leaders is how to interpret behavior under stress, and what to do next. A core paradigm shift in trauma-informed workplaces A major trauma-informed paradigm shift moves through three stages: What’s wrong with you? What happened to you? What’s strong in you? Each stage changes how leaders interpret behavior, how they respond to conflict, and how safe people feel inside the system. Stage 1: The standard paradigm, “What’s wrong with you?” In the “What’s wrong with you?” paradigm, when someone behaves in a challenging way, we quickly identify the person’s faults. The focus shifts to judgment and punishment, not to understanding and repair. In workplaces, this often shows up as blame, public correction, avoidance of accountability, and a culture where mistakes feel dangerous. When this mindset is present, it can be difficult to admit our own mistakes. Many people become defensive because the system is not safe for accountability. For someone with trauma, this dynamic can trigger a fight, flight, or freeze response. If an organization is trying to build equity and safety, this paradigm creates predictable harm. It often leads to blame, shame, and escalating conflict. It also erodes trust because people learn that mistakes are dangerous. Leader focus in this stage:  slow down judgment, reduce public shame, and increase clarity about expectations and support. Stage 2: The emerging paradigm, “What happened to you?” A trauma-informed perspective moves away from “What’s wrong with you?” and toward awareness of trauma and chronic stress. In workplaces, this looks like leaders slowing down escalation, responding with skill, and designing meetings and feedback practices that reduce threat. This stage is not about interrogating someone’s history. It is about understanding that many behaviors are automatic threat responses. When people feel unsafe, they lose access to brain regions that support reasoning, flexibility, and problem-solving. This idea has become more widely known, in part because of Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey’s 2021 book, What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. The key benefit of this paradigm is that it increases compassion and reduces blame. However, a trauma-informed approach does not stop at understanding trauma. It is a “yes and” proposition. Yes, trauma matters, and we also need to build capacity, agency, and action-oriented change. Leader focus in this stage:  respond instead of react, normalize regulation, and build repair practices after conflict. This connects closely to how f ight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses show up at work Stage 3: The trauma-informed shift, “What’s strong in you?” The next stage is strengths-based. It asks, “What’s strong in you?” and looks for resilience, capability, and connection. In workplaces, this looks like strengths-based leadership, clear expectations, consistent boundaries, and accountability that protects dignity. This is not toxic positivity. It is a shift toward seeing people as whole, capable, and worthy of dignity. It also changes how organizations design systems. Instead of expecting people to “push through” harm, leaders create conditions that support regulation, clarity, and trust. When organizations embody this paradigm, they move closer to trauma-informed goals. They empower one another, strengthen community, and create workplaces where accountability can exist without humiliation. Leader focus in this stage:  reinforce strengths, build skillful feedback norms, and make safety and dignity non-negotiable. What leaders do differently when the paradigm shifts Paradigm shifts must show up in behavior. Otherwise, they remain good ideas. Here are a few practical examples of what changes when leaders move from blame to trauma-informed practice: Leaders separate behavior from identity. They address impact without labeling the person as the problem. Leaders clarify expectations early and consistently so accountability is not random. Leaders normalize repair, including apologizing and resetting after conflict. Leaders teach and practice regulation strategies because culture is nervous-system shaped. Leaders build shared language for difficult moments so people know what to say and what to do. If you want examples, here are 9 phrases that build relationships at work. What to do this week (a simple starting plan) If you want culture change that sticks, start small and consistent: Identify the top two patterns causing harm (for example: fear of speaking up, conflict without repair). Choose one norm to implement (for example: “repair within 48 hours,” “no public shame,” “clear expectations before deadlines”). Equip managers with shared language for difficult moments and practice it together. Measure one signal for 30 days (turnover intent, pulse safety score, sick days, HR escalations, meeting participation). You have the power to shift the paradigm Change starts with you. By building awareness and becoming a trauma-informed leader, you can create change in your organization and in your community. If this resonates, your organization may benefit from our resources and services: Download our Implementation Field Guide Request a culture consult to plan your next steps with a trauma-informed expert Explore courses, webinars, and tools to support trauma-informed implementation at the systems level

If you take a look at history, it’s obvious that cultural change happens slowly. Many of the changes we experience hardly feel like changes at all. They happen gradually over the course of a lifetime, and they elude our attention. But when we shift our perspectives and take an intentional, measurable, and trauma-informed approach to cultural change, we discover that it is not only larger and faster than we initially believed—it is also more impactful, more achievable, and more essential. If you’re ready to become a catalyst for positive change in your organization, these 7 tips for creating cultural change at work can help you on your trauma-informed journey. 1 Identify your current norms and values To create change, we first need to assess where we are right now. This basic rule isn’t shocking—it’s the foundation for all measurable changes. But, this task is easier said than done. In order to identify our current norms and values, we must first possess self-awareness. If we want to self-reflect without harming our wellbeing, we must be nonjudgmental and open-minded. Especially for people who have experienced trauma, it can be very difficult to say, “I accept and appreciate where I am right now while still acknowledging a desire to be somewhere else.” For example, let’s say that you are someone who feels easily irritated when your colleagues do not respond to your messages and requests as quickly as you would like them to. You are always quick to respond to the notifications in your inbox. Usually, you respond within minutes. Most of your colleagues are like you, but others take their time—a few hours, a day, or even a few days. The cultural norm here is that there is an expectation that you will always be available to respond quickly to messages. No matter what task you are engaged in, it can and should be paused to respond to messages. Perhaps there is also an underlying belief that you should be available to respond to messages after regular working hours or over the weekend. You and many of your colleagues express the stress and pressure you feel to respond if someone happens to message after hours—but you are also someone who initiates messaging after hours. The cultural norm here revolves around the constant accessibility of your time and the expectation that others will also be constantly available to chat about work. Once identified, you must accept all the ways that you play into this detrimental cultural norm. Then, if you would like to create a safe and healthy culture, you must also be able to reflect on the actions and beliefs in yourself that you want to change without succumbing to negative self-talk. If you don’t already use this self-awareness practice for personal development in your everyday life, applying it in a professional setting can be nearly impossible. So, while the first step to creating cultural change is identifying your current cultural norms and values, there are also the prerequisites of self-awareness, compassion, kindness, acceptance, and a desire for positive change. 2 Embody trauma-informed norms and values at work Once you’ve established where your work culture stands right now, you can identify where you’d like to be. Typically, the new norms and values we want to put in place are trauma-informed. The two main models of trauma-informed values that we use at Chefalo Consulting are SAMSHA’s 6 Guiding Principles and the Sanctuary 7 Commitments. Organizations are also empowered to create their own trauma-informed value system. To initiate cultural change, individuals must embody these norms and values at work. Embodying the values means living according to them, practicing them, noticing when we fail to align our behaviors with them, and teaching them to others. Going back to the previous example, a desired trauma-informed cultural norm could be work-life balance. This would involve individuals setting and reinforcing boundaries surrounding their on and off hours. Managing these expectations could eliminate some of the negative emotions surrounding this experience, such as stress or guilt. In turn, this would help create a safer working environment where no one feels pressured to respond on their off hours or interrupt their workflow. Then, there is also the opportunity to discuss when is too long to wait to respond to a message or the best way to communicate that a message is time-sensitive. These actions align with the trauma-informed values of open communication and collaboration. When we live trauma-informed values, we are focused on creating solutions together. When people experience trauma, it is common for them to become defensive when approached with conversations about something that went wrong. The trauma-informed approach creates a dynamic where it is not me versus you but us versus this problem. This is part of how we create safety. As you can see, many of these values and norms are nonlinear. They coalesce and collide with one another in complex ways. 3 Make a conscious decision to create cultural change It’s very common for human beings to desire things. However, it is less common for them to achieve or acquire those same things. Committing to change through a conscious decision increases your chances of accomplishing that change. And, when you share that decision with someone else and meet with them on a regular basis to check in on how you’re doing, your chances of accomplishing your goal rise even more. That’s why a major part of trauma-informed organizational change is to communicate and share this decision with key players in your community. When you schedule dedicated time to check in about how you’re progressing with your goals for trauma-informed cultural change, it makes that change more achievable. 4 Hold yourself—and others—accountable This process of identifying current cultural norms, embodying trauma-informed norms, and being intentional about change happens all at once. When you practice trauma-informed norms and begin to initiate cultural change, you are continually discovering new cultural norms you want to change, learning how to better live trauma-informed values, and practicing self-awareness. Throughout this process, it is essential that you hold yourself and others accountable. Our actions serve as a window into our belief systems. So, when you notice that you or someone you work with has done something that doesn’t align with your values, it’s important to speak up—especially if it is a habitual and repeated action. 5 Do not punish employees for living your new values Punishing employees for living trauma-informed values may have been a normal dynamic in your past company culture, but as you transition into a trauma-informed company culture, it’s essential that you reward positive behavior rather than punish it. That can look like saying, “Thank you for being honest with me,” or “Thank you for setting a clear boundary with me.” In the past, boundary setting could have been met with passive-aggressive or hostile communication. Changing this norm can be challenging, which is why self-awareness and accountability are paramount to cultural change. 6 Model desired behavior We’ve all heard it: be the change you wish to see in the world. If you want to work in a trauma-informed organization, trauma-informed cultural change starts with you. On one hand, living the values will improve your wellbeing and empower you to live a kinder, more compassionate life. On the other, your actions can serve as an example for others to admire, aspire to, and reflect. Learning how to embody trauma-informed values might seem like a mystery if you’re not familiar with living your life this way. Here are some examples: 7 Create space to discuss cultural changes Cultural norms and values dictate how we interact with one another, which means they play out mostly through how we communicate. That’s why it’s essential for us to create intentional, dedicated spaces to discuss cultural changes. These spaces can look like weekly roundtable meetings with colleagues or monthly all-staff meetings. It could also look like a process that allows employees to communicate with Core Team members in-person or virtually and then gives space to Core Team members to discuss the issues and solutions as they see fit. A Core Team is a trauma-informed tool that features a diverse team of people across various skill levels, titles, and identities who lead sustainable trauma-informed implementation. You can read more about this and other trauma-informed methods in our Implementation Field Guide . This process of creating space for honest discussions could be a cultural change in and of itself, although it will also facilitate greater cultural change. Learn More About Trauma-Informed Implementation If you liked this article, be sure to check out other topics on our trauma-informed blog , where we release new content weekly. For more concrete information on creating sustainable change at work through cultural shifts, explore topics like The Technical vs. The Cultural and Paradigm Shifts . And if you’re still craving more trauma-informed content, consider booking a free consultation with a trauma-informed specialist to learn what trauma-informed implementation might look like in your organization.

Throughout our last several blogs, we’ve explored the broader themes of how to accomplish trauma-informed cultural change. We’ve also discussed how embodying trauma-informed values is essential to accomplishing that change. But what does embodying trauma-informed values look like in real-time? How are we practicing the values in our personal and professional lives? How do the concepts we discuss become embedded and embodied in our work? Today, we’ll give you concrete examples of how to embody trauma-informed values and provide some prompts for you to reflect on. By the end of this article, we hope that you’ll be capable of answering some of the more difficult trauma-informed questions and have a solid understanding of how you embody trauma-informed values at home and at work. SAMHSA and Sanctuary Trauma-Informed Values As a reminder, some of the key trauma-informed values we focus on at Chefalo Consulting include SAMHSA’s 6 Guiding Principles and the Sanctuary 7 Commitments. 1 Encourage Curiosity Through Inquiry Although curiosity is not one of the trauma-informed values we highlight, it is a core value at Chefalo Consulting because we believe that curiosity is a requirement for self-awareness and personal development. To embody curiosity, you can ask yourself and other people questions (you’ll get plenty of examples in this article). The point of asking questions isn’t to discover a “right” answer. It’s to start a conversation, explore the possibilities, and cultivate a better understanding of yourself and others. Through this process, we don’t want to establish rigid ideas of “right” and “wrong,” but we may find solutions or resources we weren’t aware of. Curiosity of the self can look like this: Curiosity in a professional or collaborative setting can look like this: Many times, we become stuck in a way of being or a policy, and we lose our curiosity. You know you’re stuck when the answer to “Why do we do it that way?” is “Because we’ve always done it that way.” If the answer was, “Because it was better than these other ways we tried” or “Because it’s the most efficient method we’ve found so far,” what would the methods look like? Would they be the same or different? Why? Does that answer highlight what is or isn’t working in your current methods? Curiosity allows our conversations to snowball into insights, solutions, and progress. It’s important to note that this model resists blind allegiance to authority, a common toxic cultural norm. So, through cultivating curiosity, we accomplish multiple trauma-informed goals: self-awareness, personal development, empowerment, and healthy power structures. 2 Ask and Answer Powerful Questions In line with our goal of encouraging curiosity, we want to ask and answer powerful questions. What makes a question powerful? Sometimes, powerful questions are the ones that are difficult to answer. Sometimes, they are the ones that are difficult to ask. Here are some examples: Powerful questions can also be specific. For example, “How can we do better?” is a broad question. Imagine that we instead ask, “How can our team communicate better?” Then, we might ask, “Where are the strongest communication links across teams? How can we replicate that?” We could also explore, “What methods of communication are creating a hostile working environment? How would we like to change that?” Powerful questions tend to lead to more questions. 3 Resist Unhealthy Power Structures Resistance to toxic cultural norms is a great way to embody trauma-informed values. Although it can be challenging, resistance to unhealthy power structures creates empowerment and safety at work. So, what does resistance look like? From the perspective of people with power, resistance can look like organizational change management. If you are already in power, you can redistribute power, reassign titles, open communication channels, and move away from a hierarchal power structure. If you are in power, you can treat everyone who is “beneath” you on the power structure with the same level of respect and consideration as you would someone who might be “above” you. From the perspective of people without power, resisting unhealthy power structures can feel dangerous if safety at work has not been established yet. In this case, resistance can look like setting healthy boundaries, communicating your needs, and not tolerating disrespect. If the workspace is unsafe, resisting unhealthy power structures can be dangerous. Many people do not set boundaries, communicate needs, or speak out for fear of losing their job or facing other consequences. For people in an unsafe workplace who still want to resist unhealthy power structures, keeping a written record to maintain your safety can be helpful. If there was an in-person meeting or an off-record phone call, sending an email to confirm what was said or decided in that meeting can be a safety and accountability tool. In healthy power structures, we live our values of peer support, collaboration, democracy, and social learning. We trust in the experts, and we recognize that the experts may not exist on a “higher” platform within the existing power structures. Once a workplace establishes healthy power structures, we can also create an environment where workers feel safe to make decisions. They become empowered. 4 Empower Employees Through Discussion & Decision-Making In addition to establishing safety through healthy power dynamics, we can empower employees through discussions surrounding decision-making. We often adhere to unspoken rules surrounding decision-making power. When in doubt, workers prefer to say, “That’s not my responsibility. I’ll pass it up.” While some people may be quick to claim that this behavior is the result of laziness, it usually stems from a place of feeling unempowered. They believe that if they were to make that decision, they could face punishment if it were the “wrong” decision. This ongoing issue can be altered through discussion. So, you can embody trauma-informed values by talking about who has the power to do what. In these conversations, it’s common for most people to come with a sense of “I don’t have the power to make that decision.” Then, the person who they think does have the power to make that decision says, “I would prefer if you made that decision.” If your former workplace had a culture of micromanagement, you’re used to being powerless to make decisions. If that’s the case, then embodying trauma-informed values can look like you actively unlearning those beliefs. Creating space to discuss decision-making can transform your organization by eliminating problems and streamlining communication. For example, there’s a common problem in trauma-informed implementation where organizations hold meetings between lower-level employees to discuss an issue. No one there feels empowered to make decisions. So, someone higher up, who did not attend the meeting and who did not communicate with the people who were at the meeting, ends up making the final call. The thing is, if any one person at that meeting felt empowered to make the decision, they could have made it. They just didn’t feel as if they could—so they didn’t. This is why empowerment is essential for change. If we want to create change, we need to realize and truly believe that we have the power to create change. 5 Cultivate Self-Compassion Safety at work is one of the single most important aspects of trauma-informed implementation. After all, our trauma responses arise when we feel unsafe. However, many times, we create an unsafe internal environment regardless of external forces. What do I mean by this? When something doesn’t go as planned, we might turn to self-blame and negative self-talk. We wear down our self-confidence by saying, “I knew it was a bad idea” or “It wasn’t worth all that effort.” Then, we approach the next project with less belief in ourselves. We may feel that we are not good enough to complete the task, or we might fear that we’ll fail again. This perspective limits our creativity, creates stress, and can even foster resentment towards our job. Although this mindset may be linked to external pressures, we can still face these same problems in a safe and healthy environment. So, to embody trauma-informed values in this scenario, we must cultivate self-compassion and create internal change. With self-compassion, that initial failure creates an entirely different experience. Instead of saying, “It was all my fault,” we can say, “It’s okay that it didn’t work out. I learned a lot from this experience.” Instead of turning to self-blame, we can speak to ourselves the way we would speak to a loved one—with comfort, support, and care. We might say, “Things won’t work out 100% of the time. That’s just how life works.” Or, “It makes sense that I feel disappointed in the results, but the results don’t reflect how hard I worked or my value as a human being.” 6 Practice Healing-Centered Engagement Healing-centered engagement is very similar to self-compassion—except our focus is on our relationship with others rather than on our relationship with ourselves. Through healing-centered engagement, we engage with others in a safe, open, and nonjudgmental way. Our priority is healing from trauma for ourselves and others. In practice, this looks like intentionally creating a safe space by avoiding toxic or hostile language and behavior. If you notice you’ve created an unsafe safe, you work to apologize and correct. 7 Be Honest When You Struggle It is an extremely common problem to struggle to ask for help. But, when we’re having a hard time, not asking for help can be our downfall. Sometimes, our resistance to assistance comes from feeling like we don’t deserve help. Other times, it stems from a feeling that we should be capable of doing everything on our own. For some people, help can feel transactional. We think, “If they help me, then I owe them something in return.” Regardless of what destructive beliefs we need to work to unlearn, we can embody trauma-informed values by learning how to ask for help and being honest when we’re having a hard time. Admitting failure can be another uphill battle. Here’s where we need to do the internal work to alter our relationship to failure. We can see it as a personal fault —“something is wrong with me” —or we can see it as an opportunity —“I can grow from this experience.” When you are ready to grow from failure, receiving help in the face of a challenge becomes a positive experience rather than a negative one. It also supports collaboration and social learning. It can build trust, strengthen relationships, and encourage change. So, the next time you struggle, think about who you can reach out to and celebrate the fact that you’re living trauma-informed values by asking for help. 8 Acknowledge That Some Projects Are Never Done Growth and change are central pillars of the trauma-informed approach. In professional settings, we love to see projects finished. A sense of completion is satisfying. However, if you want to embody growth and change, you need to accept that change is a project that never ends. It is ongoing. It is a way of life—not a project on your to-do list. A good example is the civil rights movement. Some people will say, “Oh, all that was in the past. Racism isn’t a problem anymore.” Of course, people of color and women have the right to vote today, and things aren’t the same as they were 50 years ago. But the change we’ve accomplished doesn’t erase the problems we still experience. Historical issues continue to systemically and socially oppressed minority groups. Denial that we still need change becomes an obstacle to accomplishing that change. The same goes for all trauma-informed values. Instead of saying, “We established safety at work. Now, we’re done,” we should be asking, “How are we succeeding at creating safety at work? Where can we do better still?” The moment you decide you’re “done” changing is the moment you stop growing. So, if you want to embody trauma-informed values, you’ll embed growth and change into your life by accepting that it is never done. 9 Focus on Your Personal Development Trauma-informed care is an inside-out process. First, change happens within you. Then, change happens in your organization. If you try to do it the other way around, change will be slow or nonexistent. So, focus on yourself. Instead of judging and assessing others, reflect and process what’s happening inside your body and mind. When you think about these trauma-informed values, what comes up for you in your personal life? How do you live or not live these values? · active listening and nonviolent communication · compassion, empathy, kindness, connection, and understanding · honesty, truthfulness, and trustworthiness · mutual support, collaboration, and social learning · creating safety through emotional intelligence and open communication Take Charge of Trauma-Informed Implementation in Your Life and Work Trauma-informed change requires people like you who are ready to take the work on, share it with others, and commit to real change. This work can only be accomplished by people like you who see the value in creating environments where people feel safe, seen, and respected—because the truth is that not everyone sees why this work is so valuable and so necessary. If you want to learn more about what you can do to create real change in your personal and professional life, consider enlisting in a live trauma-informed course , accessing free and affordable trauma-informed resources , or talking one-on-one with a trauma-informed specialist for free.

When we discuss implementing trauma-informed change, the conversation largely surrounds how we live trauma-informed values. How does our behavior reflect our values? What about our lifestyle choices, how we engage in relationships, or our attitude toward life’s challenges? When we reflect, we recognize that there are many ways we live trauma-informed values, but there are also many areas where we can improve. So, once we’ve identified the areas we’d like to change, the question becomes, how do we accomplish that change? If you want the simple answer, it’s ritualization. What is Ritualization? When we think of rituals, our minds might immediately turn to spirituality. However, ritualization does not require religion. Ritualization is about traditions. Maybe you have a tradition, a ritual , of having a Christmas party every year or going to your favorite restaurant for a birthday dinner. Traditions can also happen more often than once a year. Taco Tuesdays or pizza on Friday nights can also be traditions. How we respond to conflict, the processes we have in place for connection, and our behavior surrounding reunions or goodbyes can all be ritualized. Sometimes, these rituals happen naturally with little thought behind them. But we can also be conscious of which traditions we decide to create. Why Ritualization is a Great Accountability Tool When we use ritualization to embed a practice into our lives, the absence of that tradition becomes obvious. Consider how difficult it was if you couldn’t adhere to traditions that called for you to visit your family over the holidays due to COVID-19 travel advisories and restrictions. The pandemic disrupted many of our traditions—like our morning commutes to work, the necessity for meal prep, and regular outings with friends. The weight of the absence of a tradition is part of why it is such a great accountability tool. The other main reason is that once a practice is ritualized, it becomes automatic. It is expected, anticipated, or even revered. It becomes sacred because we make it sacred. Routines also help create stability in our lives. In turn, this supports our sense of safety, allowing us to remain present and responsive rather than becoming reactive and succumbing to trauma brain. How to Ritualize Trauma-Informed Behaviors Ritualization isn’t something you “just do,” it’s a process that takes consistent time, effort, and collaboration to achieve. Think about a daily habit you have or a habit you’ve tried to gain in the past. It could be a morning cup of coffee or an after-school discussion with your kids. Maybe it’s the way you enjoy dinner or the time you spend with your pets after a long day at work. This daily habit didn’t just happen one day. It began as a single action that turned into a repeated effort. This repetition may have been spotty initially, but then it became something you did every day. And now that this practice has been ritualized, a day without it feels off. But the truth is most of our rituals do just happen, in a sense. Sometimes they’re ours, and sometimes they’re inherited. You probably didn’t decide, “I’m going to have a cup of coffee every morning next year.” So, how do we intentionally ritualize a practice—and what practices do we want to ritualize anyway? Start with a goal This process of creating a habit will work with anything. Whether you want to go running more often or create a system for navigating conflict at work, your ritual will begin with a clear goal. Make the goal so small it’s 110% manageable Having specific goals is a great way to set and achieve goals, but we often set our sights too high. Instead, we want to create goals so manageable that there’s no reason we can’t do them. For example, let’s say our main goal is to manage conflict better. We want to ensure quick and effective conflict resolution at work. Our manageable goal will be to reflect daily on the conflict we encountered at work. This practice only needs to take a few minutes. And, if a few minutes every day isn’t manageable, we’ll start with every other day or every Friday. Communicate the goal with others Sharing your goals with others and planning to check in with them about your progress is a great method for holding yourself accountable and actually achieving what you set out to do. If you can get a friend or colleague to commit to a goal with you, that’s even better. Eliminate barriers to your goal Even though your goal should already be easy to achieve, we want to make it even easier. So, if your goal is to write down three times you experienced conflict, we’ll make it easier to achieve by deciding when and where you’ll do this ahead of time. This eliminates the barrier of deciding when to do your task. To eliminate the barrier of needing to acquire a pen and paper, you’ll open a notebook to a blank page and leave a pen on top of it. Since it’s on your desk at work, you must have the task done before you leave for the day. Eliminating barriers can look like setting out the clothes or tools that you’ll need for the next day. It can mean tidying up at night, so you don’t procrastinate in the morning by cleaning. Eliminating barriers to your ritual will set you up for lasting success. Recognize that true success is returning after you’ve failed When trying to embed a new practice into your life, your attempts at forming a habit, routine, or ritual will fail. Your goal will be to do something every day, and one day, you won’t do it. This small failure is a chance to come back to the ritual—which is a powerful choice that you can make. The real success in ritualization isn’t not forgetting or not skipping it. It’s coming back after you have failed. It’s trying again and not giving up. Avoid rigid expectations for achievement Along with all the ideas so far, you’ll need a flexible idea of success and achievement in order to ritualize trauma-informed practices. Even if you’ve gone two weeks without doing your ritualization activity, you can still come back to it. That’s not failure. Failure is giving up. Work your way up to regularity It’s unrealistic to think that you’ll decide to ritual on day one and have the ritual in place by day two. Give yourself time. Forming habits and routines is a challenge, and you’ll need to be gentle with yourself and your team as you work your way up to the larger goal you hope to accomplish. Creating Collective Trauma-Informed Traditions These steps for ritualizing trauma-informed behaviors are framed in an individualized way because all change starts from inside you. Trauma-informed implementation is an inside-out job. However, through collaboration, each of us can work together to create collective trauma-informed traditions, such as community meetings or round-table discussions. If you’d like to decide as a community which routines and rituals you’d like to engage in, these questions can help: How do we start our day together? How would we like to? How do we end the workday? How would we like to? How do we facilitate meetings? What could we change? What do we need more of? Is it connection, gratitude, recognition, celebration, physical activity, or quiet time to reflect? Trauma-informed care and implementation are often framed as a way to create happier, healthier, and more productive teams. And while that is exactly what we can achieve through TIC, we also have to remember that it is largely about personal development. Trauma-informed practices support your individual wellbeing, and through your wellness, you can support others. So, when discussing how to ritualize practices at work in a collaborative way, our focus should always be on what will support individual wellbeing. Learn More About Trauma-Informed Care If you believe that you or your organization could benefit from trauma-informed implementation, consider booking a free consultation with a trauma-informed specialist to learn more. In the meantime, be sure to check out more content about trauma-informed care, including how to apply TIC practices and values, in our trauma-informed blog .

Trauma-informed leadership is crucial if you want to accomplish trauma-informed change in your organization. Here’s some expert advice on how you can become a trauma-informed leader. 1 Acknowledge that cultural change is just as important as technical change When we talk about organizational change, our problem-solving brains are often focused on technical change. We ask, “ What processes can we put in place to prevent this issue?” when we should be asking, “What cultural norms are contributing to this issue, and how can we shift?” Trauma-informed leaders know that cultural changes are just as—if not more— important as technical changes. Exploring all the nuanced differences between the technical versus the cultural is a bigger task than we can do here. But the good news is that we already covered how to create lasting change at work by understanding cultural shifts here . 2 Become a catalyst for cultural change through personal development Trauma-informed leadership is a key piece of trauma-informed implementation because many organizational issues trickle down from leaders who exhibit toxic behaviors as the result of their trauma responses. When we’re stuck in trauma brain, we cannot access our executive functioning skills. We become stuck in a trauma state where we cannot think about the future, be curious or open-minded, or see the bigger picture. To get out of trauma brain and into executive functioning mode, we need to do some heavy lifting in our personal development. Trauma-informed leaders know the science behind trauma, but they also utilize trauma-informed methods and skills in their everyday life to grow as an individual. So, if you want to become a trauma-informed leader, you need to make a conscious decision to make your personal development a priority. When you do, you become a catalyst for cultural change in your organization. If you like the sound of that, these 7 Tips for Creating Cultural Change at Work could be the next best step on your personal development journey. 3 Put in the work to create paradigm shifts Cultural change is at the heart of trauma-informed work, and a major part of cultural change involves participating in paradigmatic shifts. You can think of the current paradigm as “the way things are.” A paradigm is a group of collective beliefs, behaviors, and social norms. And, in modern America, our paradigms are toxic (if you haven’t already noticed). We often fall into the trap of thinking work should be the only thing we care about in life or that our value is based on the quality of work we produce or how much money we make. We have toxic beliefs surrounding failure and criticism, and black-and-white thinking dominates our paradigm. Well, trauma-informed leaders can identify the existing and desired paradigms, and then put in the work to shift the paradigm. If you want to learn more about paradigm shifts, you can read up on it here . 4 Live trauma-informed values every day It’s easy to say, “Yeah, I agree with these values. They seem great.” It’s another task to embody those values. The Sanctuary 7 Commitments and SAMHSA’s 6 Guiding Principles are the building blocks of trauma-informed values. While we often encourage organizations to develop their own trauma-informed value systems, these are a great reference for trauma-informed leaders. Trauma-informed leaders will embody these values each and every day. Have you heard the phrase how you do anything is how you do everything ? When you start to embed trauma-informed practices into your life, you'll be able to use this lens with everything you do, see, and experience. We’ve provided some expert advice with 9 Ways to Embody Trauma-Informed Values for curious leaders. 5 Use ritualization as a trauma-informed tool Ritualization is a useful trauma-informed tool to embed what we’re learning into our life. Through habits and routines, we can make trauma-informed practice second nature. We can live trauma-informed values without needing to make a conscious decision every time. Ritualization is an extremely powerful tool to hold yourself and your teams accountable throughout the trauma-informed implementation process. Final Thoughts: Become a Trauma-Informed Leader Today You don’t need a fancy certificate to call yourself a trauma-informed leader, but expert training and coaching can support you and your organization on your journey from trauma-aware to trauma-informed and beyond. Watch our free on-demand webinar Trauma-Informed Leadership 101: Foundations for Wellness at Work or schedule a free consultation with a trauma-informed specialist to learn more.

Establishing safety at work is one of the most important aspects of creating a trauma-informed workplace, but creating safety is easier said than done. When we discuss trauma-informed beliefs, practices, and values, we often explore big-picture concepts and systems. While this is an essential piece of the work, sharing specific, actionable steps can often improve our understanding better than big-picture ideas can. Here are some concrete and relatively simple ways to create safety at work, even if you’re new to trauma-informed work. 1 - Plan for “unexpected” sick days People always say, “expect the unexpected,” and in business models, preparing for the worst can save a business. Still, we often fail to prepare for expected challenges—like sudden absences when employees fall ill. An easy way to establish safety at work is to create a plan to cope with employee absences. If an employee thinks, “My work will fall to pieces if I call out today. I can’t take time off,” then they’ll be resistant to taking time off, even when they need it due to illness or burnout. However, if your company has a solid plan in place (dare I say, a ritual ?), then employees know their absence won’t create chaos. They’ll feel secure knowing that they can rest and recover with no negative repercussions. If the truth is that your organization will fall apart if someone takes an unexpected day off, then you might need to examine some larger cultural and organizational problems taking place. 2 - Ensure employees take enough breaks The modern American workday asks us to give roughly 8-10 hours of our time and attention 4-6 days a week to our employers. That’s a lot of time. No one is capable of working at full capacity for 8 hours straight with no breaks. Then, consider that humans are healthiest when we eat three meals a day every 3-4 hours. Our mental and physical wellbeing both require adequate periods of rest to replenish our energy. Without enough breaks, we become stressed out and overworked. When we’re burnt out, we can experience negative psychological and physiological changes, including brain fog, forgetfulness, trouble focusing, fatigue, muscle pain, and even disease. So, if you want to establish safety at work, ensure that your employees know they can take breaks when they need or want to—and reinforce this cultural norm by not punishing employees who take ample breaks and encouraging employees to take more breaks. 3 - Normalize emotions at work with Community Meetings It’s a very common belief that emotions have no place in a professional setting. When you use a trauma-informed perspective, it becomes obvious that emotions are essential to ensure professional environments are as productive as they can possibly be. Emotions and vulnerability are components of healthy, stable relationships, and positive relationships contribute to improved collaboration, teamwork, and communication. I teach my clients to normalize emotions at work through a trauma-informed tool known as a Community Meeting. A Community Meeting is a short pre-meeting that you hold before your main meeting or session. In a Community Meeting, each participant answers three questions with a simple answer: What are you feeling? What is your goal for our time together? Who can you ask for support? The goal of a community meeting is to take the emotional temperature of the room. It can be helpful for everyone involved to be aware of each other’s emotional states. For example, you might learn that someone’s dog recently passed away, and they’re coping with their grief. You might see a pattern that half of your team is feeling really stressed about an upcoming project deadline. You might notice that one or team members are especially motivated after coming back from vacation. Community Meetings make it possible for you to approach others with sensitivity and emotional awareness. They help build a strong, connected community. And, they normalize talking about emotions at work. 4 - Resist and intervene We live in a society where problematic beliefs are normal: racism, sexism, ableism, islamophobia, homophobia, and much, much more. When we’re raised in a culture with white supremacy deeply embedded into our culture and history, we often fail to recognize when we push negative and harmful beliefs onto others. But, with awareness, we can change our actions and language—and we can intervene when we recognize that other people’s behavior is actively harmful. There are behaviors that can make us feel unsafe, especially if we have less power (social, perceived, or actual) than the perpetrator, such as shaming, bullying, harassment, and racism. When we witness these behaviors—or notice that we are harming others—we can re-establish safety at work by resisting or intervening. This is a bigger conversation than we can have right here, but the important thing to take away is that you can make a difference by standing up for human rights, even through small interactions like micro-resistance. 5 - Delegate decision-making power and communicate plans with employees Employees often feel unsafe making decisions. They might worry about potential repercussions or feel as though their decision simply wouldn’t be good enough. Empowerment is a trauma-informed value that can create safety. You can give your team more autonomy by clearly communicating who has what decision-making power. We often come to unspoken agreements regarding who makes decisions. Usually, it’s the higher-ups. Then, there becomes a pattern where everything needs approval from a higher-up before moving forward. If communication fails, change halts. Generally, I’ve found that the higher-ups usually appreciate team members making decisions for themselves. So, have an explicit conversation about who has the power to decide what, what suggesting ideas and requesting approvals look like, and when you might need to request approval. When in doubt, you can always ask, “Do I have the power to make this decision?” You might be surprised to find that you’ve always had the power. 6 - Set ground “rules” at work It’s easy to go about our lives assuming that other people think and behave in the same or similar ways as we do. But that’s not true at all. One person’s idea of appropriate behavior at work can be completely different for someone else. We often have different ideas of what respect, good communication, conflict resolution, and active listening look like. So, you can help create safety at work by making sure everyone is on the same page about how you do things at work (ideally, these ground “rules” embody trauma-informed values ). I use “rules” as a loose term because these shouldn’t be rigid definitions where people are punished when they fail to meet expectations. More so, our ground “rules” outline our expectations. They give us an idea of how to behave in certain situations. They are also likely to change and develop as your team works out the best ground “rules” for them. Your team’s ground rules can answer questions like: How would we prefer to handle conflict? What behaviors create an unsafe workspace for us? What is the best way to navigate a situation when our ground rules are broken? What are our boundaries? How do we prefer to…? Keep in mind that there is space for different team members to have different answers to these questions. The most important goal of setting ground rules is to understand each other. 7 - Teach employees about the subsets of safety If your organization’s goal is to create safety at work, then educating your employees about the various subsets of safety (and how to achieve each one) is a great place to start. Safety is a complex topic, especially when we use a trauma-informed lens to talk about it. When creating safety at work, it’s important to remember that safety encompasses: physical safety psychological safety social safety moral safety cultural and racial safety 8 - Commit to trauma-informed implementation Finally, one of the best ways to accomplish safety at work is to commit to trauma-informed organizational change. Trauma-informed implementation is typically a 3-year process that embeds evidence-based trauma-informed practices and values into the core of your organization. The trauma-informed framework offers many benefits for organizations and individuals, and safety at work is just one of them. For more information about establishing safety at work or the trauma-informed model, schedule a free consultation with a trauma-informed expert today.

If you’re familiar with the trauma-informed space, you know that we often talk about the experience of feeling seen, heard, and valued. We talk about creating space at the table for everyone, practicing vulnerability to strengthen relationships, and holding ourselves accountable when we make mistakes. These are all great topics to discuss, but it can prove challenging to distill these larger ideas into practice. But, when we talk about apologizing, we wrap all of these complex concepts up into a single practice. It’s a common trauma-state response to want to avoid conflict. Conflict can feel dangerous. Some of us may have experiences where conflict was dangerous. While avoiding conflict may have worked as a successful tool to stay safe in the past, this adaptive behavior does not serve us in our professional lives. Repairing conflict creates stronger relationships, ensures better teamwork, and encourages more collaboration. And we cannot repair conflict by avoiding it. You might think that you already know how to apologize—and that might be true. But this step-by-step guide to apologizing (with helpful templates) is a trauma-informed resource that we believe can benefit anyone. Step 1: Create safety and put down your defenses Sometimes, an apology will come in the heat of the moment. Other times, you might feel the need to seek someone out to give an apology after the fact. In either situation, the first step to apologizing is creating safety. To create a safe environment, you need to make sure that you are not dysregulated. You need to bring down your defenses. When giving an apology, defensiveness can show up in different ways. You might think, “I didn’t mean to hurt them,” or “It’s not that big of a deal.” Defensive statements serve to protect your ego, and they often come from a place of trauma. However, they don’t serve your goal of repairing conflict. These statements can make the other person feel unsafe and unheard. Although your side of the story is important, an apology is about seeing someone else’s side of the story. So, to create safety when giving an apology, there are a few things we can do: Use a gentle, non-combative tone of voice when speaking. Avoid aggressive body language, like slamming doors or pacing. Ask for consent to give an apology or have a conversation about a specific topic. We can also use certain words and phrases to establish safety. You might say: “I just want to remind you that this situation isn’t a me-versus-you scenario. It’s an us-versus-the-problem situation, and I’m committed to working together with you to resolve this conflict.” “We’re a team, and I see you as a friend. I don’t want this conflict to push us apart.” “I’m here now because I care about you and how you feel.” Why is creating safety the first step to giving an apology? Some people might see this step as unnecessary. From a trauma-informed perspective, this step is non-negotiable. Why? When we use a trauma-informed perspective, we operate with universal precaution. Universal precaution encompasses the idea that anyone can have trauma. Since anyone may have trauma, we must act as though everyone has trauma. When we act as though everyone has trauma, it becomes clearer why establishing safety is essential to giving an apology. If the receiver of the apology is stuck in trauma brain, they cannot properly listen, process, or understand. They may feel unsafe, threatened, or scared. Instead of being present, they will fight, flee, freeze, or appease. Step 2: Validate feelings and experience Once you’re sure that you’re in the right headspace to give an apology and you’ve established an atmosphere of safety, it’s time for step two: validation. Emotional validation is the act of acknowledging and accepting a person’s thoughts, feelings, and inner experiences. When we validate someone’s emotions, we are essentially saying, “It makes sense that you feel that way. Your emotions are valid.” We can use those words, but we can also phrase it in different ways: “I understand why you feel this way.” “If that happened to me, I’d feel that way, too.” “Anyone would feel that way if that happened to them.” “I see that you feel this way because…” “When this happened, I know it made you feel…” “It’s understandable why you would think that.” “I can see how you would feel that way.” “That must have been really difficult for you.” When you validate, you don’t need to agree on the facts of what happened. The goal is to acknowledge that you see their side of things and communicate that you understand how they feel. This is a great place to practice empathy. When we’re hurt, we often desire that the person who hurt us understands what it feels like. We want to feel seen, heard, and respected. When we’re validated, we receive all that and more. That’s why this stage of repairing conflict can be extremely healing. Step 3: Apologize with specific details It might come as a surprise that step three to apologizing is the apology itself. Once you’ve established safety and validated the person's emotions, you’re ready to say sorry. When apologizing, it’s important that you’re specific and genuine in your apology. This part is where you will hold yourself accountable (which, if you’re in trauma brain, is extremely difficult). Try to avoid statements like “I’m sorry you feel” or “I’m sorry that happened” when you are at fault in a scenario (even if your intentions were good or it was an accident). Instead, seek to take accountability by saying, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way” or “I’m sorry I did that.” You might also want to say: “I made a mistake, and I’m owning that mistake.” “It was wrong of me to do that.” “When I said that, I wasn’t being considerate.” “What I did was inappropriate.” If you use these examples, be sure to add your own details. Make it clear that you understand how your actions or words have affected the other person. Saying sorry without knowing why you’re apologizing isn’t an apology. How do I apologize if I’m not sorry? It’s possible that you don’t feel any remorse for what you did. The truth is, you might not be in the wrong at all. You don’t need to feel any shame or guilt. But you can still give a genuine apology. Consider this scenario. Your organization has certain systems and processes in place. You do your job a certain way, as you always have. A new hire begins working with you. They are unaware of how the current team normally functions to get a task done. They have an issue with how you do something. Who’s in the wrong here? No one, really. Does that make the new hire’s feelings any less valid? No. It is possible for there to be no blame or fault in a situation that calls for an apology. It is both possible and common that our actions cause injury to others even when those actions are not necessarily wrong. So, if you’re not sorry, but you want to give an apology, consider what you can apologize for. In the situation with the new hire, you might say: “I didn’t know how my actions would affect you. Because of that unawareness, I offended you, and I’m sorry for that.” “I’m sorry that I didn’t communicate better regarding this project. I wasn’t sensitive to the fact that you’re new to the team and might need some more guidance than our other colleagues.” Step 4: Reassure and re-establish safety Once the apology is delivered, the apology still isn’t over. Next, you’ll want to re-establish safety and reassure the person of whatever they might feel insecure about. In a professional setting, reassurance might look like this: “I want you to know that I never intended to hurt you, and I would never intentionally harm you.” “You deserve praise and recognition for the hard work you do. I never meant to take credit for your work.” “I wasn’t in the right state of mind when you came to me about that issue. You don’t deserve to be yelled at or dismissed, and my anger wasn’t your fault. That’s on me.” “I know I have a bad habit of not responding to emails. I want you to know that I’m not trying to ignore you on purpose. I care about your opinions and needs.” Why can’t I start with reassurance? We often want to lead with this part, but when we start with “I didn’t mean to” it can be re-traumatizing and dismissive. When we begin with, “It was an accident,” we’re prioritizing our feelings over the other person’s. We’re asking them to see our side of the story before fully listening and understanding their side. Reassurance can be invalidating if it comes before emotional validation. Step 5: Commit to change Next, it’s time to commit to change. We want to continue the apology by clarifying what will happen next time. We want to answer the question: In the future, what will be different? Using our previous examples from step four, this might look like: “In the future, I’m going to be more mindful of giving credit where it’s due. I sometimes have trouble speaking up in meetings, but this is important to me, and I’m going to make an effort to stop and say that I’m not the one to thank.” “I’m working on processing my anger in a healthy way so that you and your colleagues don’t suffer from it. Next time I want to yell, I’ll ask you to come back in 20 minutes instead so I can calm down. What do you think about that?” “I’m terrible at responding to emails. It doesn’t mean I haven’t read them. I just get caught up or distracted before I respond. What do you think about having a weekly or a daily meeting to touch base about everything you’ve emailed me?” Sometimes people might ask us for what they need, and if that ask is too much, you have the opportunity to set healthy boundaries. In this step, the conversation really surrounds the answers to two questions. What do we need? What do we have to offer one another? Step 6: Ask questions By this stage, the conversation around your apology is likely over. But, there may still be some unvoiced feelings or requests. That’s why it’s a good time to ask open-ended questions, like: “How do you feel?” “Is there anything else I can do or say to help resolve this?” “How can I support you today as we move through this conflict?” “Is there anything you feel like you need to say or hear from me before this conversation is over?” Step 7: Say thank you. Finally, the last stage of giving an apology is to acknowledge your gratitude for the time, space, and energy that someone has devoted to strengthening your relationship. This can look like: “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to apologize.” “I appreciate you being receptive to my apology.” “Thank you for communicating that this hurt you.” “I appreciate you being honest and vulnerable with me.” When we operate with a trauma-informed lens, we recognize how difficult these conversations can be and how much growth happens in them. Both people who participate in professional and emotionally intelligent conflict resolution deserve recognition for their emotional labor. Learn More Trauma-Informed Techniques Giving a proper apology that creates safety, strengthens relationships, and repairs conflict is a trauma-informed life skill that anyone can benefit from—and this is just one of many trauma-informed approaches you can use at work and in life. To learn more trauma-informed techniques, be sure to read the Art of Trauma-Informed, our Systems Transformation Blog, where we post new content weekly. Ask questions or share your thoughts in the comments below—or tune into Trauma-Informed Conversations, weekly hour-long community sessions dedicated to you. Trauma-Informed Conversations begin in October 2022, but you can register now . Would you prefer 1-on-1 times with a trauma-informed specialist? That’s available for you, too! Book a free consultation with Chefalo Consulting now.

Download this newsletter as a printable PDF: Monthly Reflections In August, many of us prepared for or began the 22-23 school year as we balanced personal, professional, and cultural stressors. Whether you worked through loss, reflected on your past, began a new journey, or processed the collective trauma of military conflict and restricted abortion access, now is the time to recognize the growth you accomplished. Be proud of yourself and celebrate your wins. Looking Ahead As we move into September, exciting things are happening. Many of you have asked for more trauma-informed resources, and we are working hard to bring these free and affordable resources to you. In September, we will welcome new opportunities for growth, including one open and collaborative space for all our readers. Busy as a Trauma Response When we think about trauma responses, it's easy to recall the basics: fight, flight, freeze, and appease. While this offers us a great model, trauma responses are more complex than "run away" or "fight." Being busy can be a trauma response. If busy is your trauma response, you gravitate towards activities and tasks. If someone else is busy, you feel the urge to get up and help. Why? It's possible that idleness meant danger in your past. Being busy might help you feel safe. If you rarely give yourself time to settle down and think, you do yourself a disservice. You miss out on quality alone time. You might struggle to relax. Or, you may find yourself stuck in trauma brain or reenactments (unhealthy patterns) frequently. It's okay to slow down. It's okay to create a space where you have nothing to do. If being busy is your trauma response, you might hate this advice: but you would also benefit the most from it. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Independence as a Trauma Response It's okay to ask for help Another common overlooked trauma response is hyper-independence. If you are a hyper-independent person, you may experience a strong resistance to help. You may believe that you don't or shouldn't need help or that needing help is a sign of weakness. No one would blame you for believing that: our cultural norms often teach us these beliefs. So many of us struggle to ask for help. It might come from a time we were let down in the past after asking. Or, we may have been in situations where there was no one we could ask for help. If we acknowledge that our resistance to help comes from a place of trauma, we can apply a new perspective to recurring situations. Next time you think about asking for help, notice if your immediate next thought is resistance. Then, consider it an opportunity to push back, disengage your trauma response, break a pattern, and choose healing over comfort. Reenactment Triangles The Drama Triangle Reenactments are patterns of social interactions that we tend to repeat. If you ever feel like you're stuck in conflict or conversation with no resolution in sight (and you often have the same interactions over and over again), then you're probably experiencing a reenactment. When we're inside reenactments, we generally tend to take one of three archetypes. We may move between them in the same reenactment pattern, or we may take on different roles with different people. Knowing whether you're the victim, rescuer, or persecutor can help you identify problematic mindsets that keep you stuck. Victims struggle with hopelessness, entitlement, and decision-making. Rescuers struggle with needing to save others to feel valuable, helping without being asked, and harboring resentment. Persecutors struggle with blame, black-and-white thinking, and a sense of superiority. Name It, Tame It To escape the reenactment triangle, one person must break the pattern. To break the cycle, you can "name it and tame it." With this method, you stop and say, "We are in a reenactment." You might even identify who's who. By calling it out, you control it. This helps us avoid getting wrapped up in reenactments. The Empowerment Triangle Knowing which role you play can help you move away from the drama triangle and into the empowerment triangle by identifying the role you wish to play. In an empowerment triangle, the rescuer becomes the supporter, the victim becomes the driver, and the persecutor becomes the coach. Drivers are empowered to affect change. Supporters set clear boundaries. Coaches encourage others to action. In this triangle, all parties communicate and create safety. Trauma-Informed Spotlight: Christy Turek Rials Art is a window of safety, and we strive to give this gift to as many folks as possible. Christy Turek Rials is the Training & Outreach Director at A Window Between Worlds , a trauma-informed nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering trauma survivors through transformative healing arts programs. Christy Rials is a model trauma-informed leader who embodies trauma-informed values through her work and offers insight to other leaders in this space. She recognizes the importance of both trauma-informed care and cultural relevance as essential components of the healing process. Although AWBW primarily serves survivors of domestic and sexual violence, anyone with traumatic experience and all trauma-informed leaders can benefit from their methods and practices. If you're looking for more trauma-informed resources, check out: Window's Facilitator Training The Survivor's Art Circle AWBA's Facilitator Blog Final Words Thank you for reading our Trauma-Informed Newsletter. We hope that you also thank yourself for spending the time and energy to hold space for healing, growth, and learning. You're doing great! Trauma-Informed Resources Your personal and professional development doesn't end with this newsletter. Here are some more trauma-informed resources for you to use or share with those who need them (they're all free!): Implementation Jumpstart Mini-Guide Trauma-Informed Leadership 101: Foundations for Wellness at Work You asked for more trauma-informed resources, and they're coming! Keep an eye out for our Organizational Action Plan Workbook, a step-by-step guide to help you create an organizational safety plan.

If you asked me what the single most important aspect of trauma-informed implementation is, I’d say it’s much more complex than that. But then I’d say safety at work . To be fair, there are a lot of moving parts when we aspire to create safety at work. It’s not an easy task to undertake. From encouraging employees to develop individual safety plans to creating a comprehensive organizational safety plan , truly establishing safety at work can take years to achieve. It’s a lot harder than following 8 simple tips . But the rewards are worthy of the journey. Here are a few things that happen when employees feel safe at work. 1 - They stop gossiping Gossip has a negative connotation to it, but when we boil it down, gossip is when we talk about other people who aren’t there. Usually, when people gossip, they say things they wouldn’t feel comfortable saying to the person who’s being talked about. Either, what they have to say is untrue. Or, what they have to say is true, but no one feels safe enough to say it. Let’s assume that the facts are facts and the feelings are valid. What happens when employees feel safe enough to share what could be considered “gossip” freely to those it impacts most? Gossip transforms into constructive feedback. Suddenly, when employees feel safe at work, they stop gossiping. They stop complaining about each other behind one another’s backs. Instead, they feel empowered to have an open, calm, and constructive discussion with clear goals. With safety, “gossip” builds relationships instead of tearing them down. 2 - They share feedback and insights Even if you’re not one to gossip, how often are you silent about the feedback you want to give? Why don’t you share? You might rationalize with yourself: “That’s not my lane,” “I’m no expert,” or “They won’t even consider it.” Or, you might be afraid: “I don’t know what will happen if I say that,” or “I know something bad will happen.” When we add safety to the mix, those thoughts transform into something new and empowering. Instead, you might think, “I could be wrong about this, but it’s an idea worth sharing,” or “I know they will value my opinion, even if they decide to take this project in a different direction.” When employees feel safe, they freely and kindly share insights and feedback that would otherwise go unnoticed. When we create a company culture of constructive feedback, we then see positive outcomes such as effective change, growth mindsets, nonjudgmental evaluations, and stronger relationships in the community. 3 - They communicate effectively Not wanting to tell someone something—whether it’s advice on how they could be more effective or something they do all the time that irritates you—is a common experience. Healthy communication is not a value that’s embedded into our overarching culture in America. But it is a trauma-informed value that we must strive to embody. When we create safety at work, we open safe spaces for honest and effective communication. Imagine if you could tell your coworker that a habit of theirs disrupts your workflow or that a method of communication you have in place just isn’t working. You could work towards a solution together, let go of any lingering resentment, and build a better working environment for everyone. With safety at work, every employee has the confidence that others will act appropriately with kindness, respect, and understanding. We assume the best of each other, and there is no fear of retaliation. 4 - They look forward to collaboration Have you ever dreaded working with certain people? Many of us prefer to work alone because collaborating with others can be difficult. When there’s poor communication, unspoken expectations, or unfair division of labor, it’s understandable why we would prefer to work solo. This aversion to collaboration usually comes from a place of trauma. We believe that other people are detrimental to our work. We think they are either dangerous or they slow us down. But, when we introduce safety to the mix, we can counteract these maladaptive beliefs. People are inherently social creatures. If you were asked to collaborate with your close friends, you might be more interested in the prospect of working together than when you’re asked to collaborate with your colleagues. But what if working with your team felt like working with your friends? When there’s safety at work, professional relationships can thrive like friendships. With safety comes effective and open communication. With proper communication comes collaboration. And when there’s a history of positive collaborative experiences, employees look forward to working with others. 5 - They are honest with peers and leadership The default professional culture does not value honesty as much as it does obedience. But, if we want to create safety at work and embody trauma-informed values, we have to unlearn old beliefs and replace them with new ones. When employees feel safe at work, they are empowered to say no toxic positivity. They will stop crossing their own boundaries—and others’ boundaries—and being agreeable when they don’t truly agree. How good would it feel to respond honestly about a colleague’s behavior that irritated you? Instead of saying, “it’s okay,” when it is not okay, safety allows us to be honest. When employees feel safe, they start being honest with each other and with leadership. 6 - They care about each other’s wellbeing When safety is a core value of an organization, every community member can assume that other community members have their best interests in mind. Although there will always be people who act selfishly, a sense of safety opens the door to community. In a safe community, individuals care about each other as individuals. They also care about the health of the group as a whole. When organizations establish safety at work, employees have the space to care for one another and the organization. 7 - They resolve conflict peacefully on their own Conflict avoidance is a common trauma response, and a big part of trauma-informed work includes healthy and safe conflict resolution. Conflict can feel dangerous (especially for employees who have experienced dangerous conflict in the past), but when we establish safety, the perceived danger of conflict at work decreases. When employees genuinely feel safe at work, they are empowered to resolve interpersonal conflict peacefully on their own without involving management. Divides in organizations are often worsened when one of two parties in conflict seeks out management before going to the other person. This behavior is the result of not feeling safe. When they do feel safe, another option appears: resolving the conflict on their own. 8 - They empower each other We’ve already dropped this word a lot, but it’s worth having its own point—empowerment. When employees feel safe at work, they become empowered. Employees not only feel empowered themselves—they also create an atmosphere of empowerment for others. Through coaching, collaborative learning, and encouragement, employees become trauma-informed resources themselves by empowering each other. Empowerment is a great mindset to have because it is also a major factor of resilience. 9 - They make decisions When employees feel safe and empowered, they are capable of making decisions with a clear head. Have you ever been in a situation where your organization was stuck? Maybe you’re stuck right now. Nothing gets done, employees struggle with decision paralysis, and you have the same conversations over and over again without coming to any conclusions. When we experience trauma brain, we cannot access our executive functioning skills, which include decision making and planning. Safety at work can help us avoid getting trapped in trauma brain, thus enabling us to make decisions. Decision-making can also be halted when employees feel like they don’t have the power to make decisions. Without fear of what might happen if they make the “wrong” decision, employees are free to make decisions and push the organization forward. Final Thoughts: The Benefits of Safety at Work If you understand trauma-informed work, then you know that the benefits of creating safety at work are nearly immeasurable—after all, how can you truly quantify the value of employee wellbeing and compare it to any other bottom line? These benefits of safety at work are some of the changes that you can experience in your organization. But it’s important to note that these changes often happen hand-in-hand with a greater sense of safety. Just as safety brings empowerment, conflict resolution, communication, and mutual trust, these aspects of the trauma-informed model create safety. For a one-of-a-kind virtual networking experience, be sure to tune into Intentional Conversations this Monday, October 10, at 12 pm CT, where we’ll explore your questions and discuss the content of this blog. Seats are free, but pre-registration is required. To learn more about how you can create safety at work, consider booking a free consultation .

Last week, we discussed how to recognize trauma states at work. The classic fight, flight, freeze, and appease trauma responses can reveal themselves in subtle ways, and other lesser-known trauma states can plague professional environments. Now that we know how to spot when someone is stuck in survival mode at work, it’s time to talk about how to help someone get out of that mindset. Today, we’ll explore the answer to the question: how can we respond to someone when they’re stuck in trauma brain? What is trauma brain or survival brain? Trauma brain is a mindset. You could also call it a state of mind or a headspace. It’s like a setting in our minds that our brains turn on in response to stress. This setting helps us ensure our survival. In the face of traumatic experiences, we behave in certain ways that will help us avoid harm. This survival mode can be extremely helpful—until it’s not. The problem with trauma brain is that our fight, flight, freeze, and appease coping mechanisms can become maladaptive. Our brain sees danger where there isn’t, and we get pushed into survival mode. When we’re in survival mode, we cannot access executive functioning skills. After all, these skills aren’t necessary for survival. But we do need them to succeed in our everyday lives. Executive functioning skills include planning and logic. We need them to think about the future, organize tasks, manage time, focus our attention, and remember important information. If we cannot access those skills because we are stuck in trauma brain, it becomes extremely difficult to accomplish the responsibilities we face in our personal and professional lives. This phenomenon is partially why learning about trauma-informed systems and fostering resilience is so essential to run successful organizations. How to approach someone in a trauma state Understanding how trauma brain works is a fairly simple task. The science is, for the most part, straightforward. But knowing how to behave when you notice you or someone else has flipped their survival switch on is a more difficult task. Someone in survival mode cannot think about the future or access their logical reasoning skills. They struggle to focus on the topic of conversation and easily forget what has been said. Everything you might want to say to them in that moment likely makes sense, but it won’t get through to them now. Your valid points and poignant questions must wait until this person can access their executive functioning brain. So, instead of trying to use logic to help someone get out of a trauma state, here’s what you can do. 1 - Establish safety The best thing you can do for someone experiencing a trauma state—whether it’s a coworker, a loved one, or yourself—is to establish safety . A sense of safety arises from our actions, attitudes, and words. If someone becomes combative or frozen, you can use safety phrases to help them let go of their survival response. “I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to help you.” “It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.” “You’re not going to be punished.” “You didn’t do anything wrong.” “We can take a break if you need to.” 2 - Maintain a calm tone of voice Sometimes what we say has less of an impact than how we say it. When using safety phrases, you can use a calm and sure tone of voice to convey your message clearly. Having a kind and compassionate expression on your face can also go a long way to convincing whoever is having a trauma response that you mean what you’re saying. If you appear angry, upset, or disappointed, the disconnect between your words and your body language could be confusing. 3 - Listen actively to gain insight Active listening is a powerful skill for any professional, and it can come in handy when you’re trying to help someone who’s struggling with trauma brain. Active listening can give you insight into what’s stressing this person out so that you can address it and establish safety. When someone is stuck in trauma brain, they feel unsafe. Figuring out what their brain tells them is unsafe can help you help them. However, that doesn’t mean that you should pry with invasive questions. Just listen . 4 - Let go of control and don’t push One of the most common reasons people feel unsafe is that their boundaries are not respected. Whether the issue arises from other people blatantly disrespecting their boundaries, a struggle to communicate boundaries well, or both, acknowledging boundaries can help create safety. In order to respect boundaries, we also need to let go of control. Accepting that we cannot force someone to behave or think a certain way enables us to respect their boundaries. Creating safety through boundary setting can look like this: “We don’t have to talk about it.” “I’m hearing that you don’t like it when I do this. Do you want me to stop?” "You don’t have to answer this question.” “We can pause this conversation.” When we see that someone is suffering, it’s common to desperately want them to change in ways that we know will alleviate their suffering. But we cannot make them change. We can only support them as they move through their trauma response and regain their executive functioning ability. 5 - Acknowledge what you do have the power to change Knowing what we do and do not have the power to change is an essential part of trauma-informed care. In this knowledge, we find acceptance and empowerment. We have the power to: establish safety lend support and offer help provide tools and resources But we do not have the power to make someone accept those resources or support. 6 - Resist engaging in reenactments We also have the power to break the reenactment triangle. When someone is in a trauma brain state, they often take on one of three key roles: the victim, the persecutor, or the rescuer. The victim is full of self-pity and helplessness. The persecutor is focused on blaming and attacking others. The rescuer forgets their own needs to save others. Knowing the roles that we take on with certain people can help us escape this dynamic, supporting our own wellbeing and the wellbeing of the people we engage with. By resisting reenactments, we can pull someone out of their survival brain and into executive functioning mode. 7 - Make requests that push their brain into executive functioning mode Finally, we can assign tasks to someone in survival mode to help them escape their trauma brain. Some coping skills are a great example of this, like the 5-4-3-2-1 method. This grounding technique asks you to name: 5 things you can see 4 things you can touch or feel 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste Brain Gym exercises can also help us escape trauma responses by activating our concentration, memory, and coordination centers, and we can use simplified versions of this exercise, such as crossing toes (try to cross your pinky toe over and under the toe next to it) or moving one hand up and down while the other moves left to right. Other executive functioning tasks include thinking about the future, so we can also ask planning questions, such as: “What do you want to accomplish today?” “How should we go about doing that?” “What steps do we need to take in order to…?” How to Approach Someone in a Trauma State When you recognize that trauma states are taking over, you can take these steps to help others get out of it: Establish safety Use kind words, tone of voice, and expressions Respect and acknowledge boundaries Practice radical acceptance and empowerment Break reenactments Use executive functioning tasks Trauma sensitivity is a lifelong journey Trauma-informed care is a practice that doesn’t happen overnight. Becoming a trauma-sensitive leader is a transformative process that will challenge and heal you in unexpected ways. If you want to learn more about trauma-informed practices in professional settings, be sure to explore our free resources .