This article was originally published in Chefalo Consulting's December 2022 Trauma-Informed Newsletter.
Healing from trauma is a process that is never truly "complete." As you move through your journey, you'll realize that there are things we leave behind as we move forward.
As we heal, we must let go of things that were once important to us. These might be old habits and coping strategies that no longer serve us, relationships that we can now see as damaging to us, or a past version of ourselves that we can no longer cling to.
In the SELF-model, loss is an important experience to acknowledge and work through. SELF stands for Safety, Emotions, Loss, and Future.
When we experience loss, we must confront difficult emotions like grief and disappointment. For many people, healthy distraction strategies can snowball into fully-fledged avoidance, where the problem is never truly addressed.
The issue with avoiding how we feel about our loss is that those feelings of grief and disappointment don't go away. They fester, grow, and may even transform into resentment, bitterness, irritation, anger, or sadness.
So, as you continue on your healing journey, be aware that loss is a part of that journey, and when the time comes, it's important to sit with the feelings you experience, whatever they are.